Lahaina News-Internet by Ursula Keuper-Bennett
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LAHAINA NEWS SUMMARY for November 21 - November 28, 1996
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by Ursula Keuper-Bennett
LAHAINA NEWS, the Little Paper That Could - Eyes on West Maui
This summary is being filled out IN Canada by a Canadian who subscribes to
the Lahaina News and wishes she was in Hawaii right now.
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FRONT PAGE STUFF
Large photo of the buffet at the Maui Marriott's Moana Terrace, complete with guy wearing a big white stove pipe hat. There's tons of food and people digging in but in the upper right hand corner it looks like there is an octopus hovering menacingly over the chef but it could also be a Boston Fern or a two foot Tarantula spider. Some of these black and white newspaper photos can get really grainy.
MVB EXPECTS RISE IN VISITORS FROM ADDED FLIGHTS
Two new weekly flights - one from Seattle, the other from Anchorage as in Alaska, are expected to bring an increase in visitors to Maui. Apparently the fall was rather stagnant and business wasn't as good as expected. But winter brings repeat visitors staying several weeks to escape the snow.
BEEFED-UP PATROL MAKES A DIFFERENCE ON FRONT STREET
With the increased patrol of Lahaina police along Front Street, there has been an accompanying decrease in drug dealers on the street. The Lahaina police bicycle patrol has recently changed hours so they are more visible in the evening hours and even alcohol related problems have decreased as a result of police presence. One enthusiast claims things on Front Street are 1 000% improved.
METAL ON PALI STICKS OUT LIKE A SORE EYE FOR WEST MAUI RESIDENT
OK all you Maui types. You know that stretch of road between Lahaina and the airport where there is the tunnel and the road gets all twisty? You know the mountainside that's all fenced in...fencing extending from top of the hill right down to the road? It's been up for almost a decade now and at first people grumbled about it. Most people have accepted the eyesore.
But apparently one person never quite acclimated to the structure and when he heard the state Highways Division was intent on expanding this metal netting he decided to do something about it.
Actually when my husband and I first saw the netting we were puzzled and speculated Maui must have some mighty nasty rocks to have to keep them all caged in like that. Turns out we were part right. The netting helps prevent rocks from falling down on the road from above and crushing the new Mustang convertible that doesn't protect your head.
CONTAMINATED WELLS LINKED TO PINEAPPLE PESTICIDES
This article will make you buy bottled water when you next visit the West Side.
SEAWEED CLEAN-UP AND MONITORING GETTING READY TO BEGIN NEXT YEAR
This article is all about the stink limu that still washes up on a lot of Maui's beaches. The West Maui Taxpayers Association is mainly concerned about West Maui beaches and are therefore encouraging a seaweed clean-up project on West Maui beaches.
NO CENTRE PAGE AD THIS WEEK PEOPLE! Just a Thanksgiving related centre (no, centre is NOT spelled wrong...) page ad from various restaurants. There is a picture of a smiling blond holding what looks like kindling until you read the caption. She carries a basket full of king crab legs. I didn't know a king crab had THAT many legs!
Oh well, I will just have to make UP the NAPILI MARKET/Food Pantry CENTRE PAGE AD
Red Flame Seedless grapes are on sale this week for $1.69 cents a pound. Sunkist raisins are $2.29 a box. Go figure the old wrinkly grapes cost more than the fresh ones.
SPAM and SPAM Lite are on sale this week for $1.49 a can and Pepto Bismol is 20% off not that I am implying a relationship between the two.
Ladies black fish net stockings are $6.98 a pair but don't try to catch fish with them.
Papayas aren't on sale and neither are coconuts. Beers and wines are always on sale each week with American beer at the usual $7.99 for a two-four.
Kodak film is on sale and so are Trojan small sized condoms at $.50 for a dozen. I guess it is easy to sell them that cheap when you know no male will consider buying them.
Kal Kan dogfood is a bargain this week so let your pooch know.
That's it for this week's made up NAPILI MARKET/Food Pantry Centre Page Ad
THE HARBOUR REPORT
EXACT HOOKS UP IN CHANNEL is the headline and the article is about a 458 pound marlin that isn't any more. I just saw the words "frantically cranked" and scanned the photo of the poor marlin, paper on its side, hanging upside down.
Something about a 38 minute chase and over the transom into the boat. You know fish look SO MUCH better when they are in the water. Any way, enough about the Exact. The article also mentions the Happy Howzit chugging between Maui and Molokai with the crew and clientele just pretending to fish.
apparently they dropped line sans hooks into the water and stripped off all their clothes and jumped into the ocean. For the record, the captain of the Happy Howzit, did not partake in the activity citing safety reasons and regulations.
Both boats arrived back in Lahaina Harbour at about the same time. Judging by the smiles from the Happy Howzit group that they had way more fun.
The rest of the paper is restaurant ads or art gallery stuff. All the best and hope you Americans had a really satisfying Thanksgiving holiday.
^ Ursula Keuper-Bennett
0 0 Email: howzit@io.org
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LAHAINA NEWS SUMMARY for November 14 - November 21, 1996
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by Ursula Keuper-Bennett
LAHAINA NEWS, the Little Paper That Could - Eyes on West Maui
This summary is being filled out IN Canada by a Canadian who subscribes to
the Lahaina News and wishes she was in Hawaii right now.
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FRONT PAGE:
Awesome photo of what Honolua Bay looks like when a monster swell runs through.
SHERATON MAUI READY FOR A SOFT OPENING FRIDAY
After two years of renovation and $150 million the new Sheraton Maui opened on Friday, November 22nd. A hotel PR type claimed, "From top to bottom, it's a state-of-the-art hotel."
When completed the resort will have 510 rooms and suites including 16 luxury accomodations, 30 junior suites for families and 10 rooms designated for the hearing impaired.
The Sheraton Maui was the first hotel in Kaanapali Beach. It opened in 1963 at an original cost of $4.75 million.
STATE TO INVESTIGATE AREA WHERE HIGHWAY IS VULNERABLE TO OCEAN
I guess the ocean is still doing a number on certain parts of Maui. State Highways Division officials say they will take a closer look at moving sections of the Honoapiilani Highway away from the ocean.
Parts of the coastal highway linking Lahaina and Central Maui (Lahaina to the airport) are vulnerable to a combination of wave surges and high tide. One consultant commented that all it could take is one large storm and the road would be completely undermined in places.
EDITORIAL CARTOON
I would like to describe the editorial cartoon but I don't get it. Something about a guy whose job is business loans and he is laughing saying he loves his job. I guess you had to be there.
EDITORIAL - A SUCCESSOR FOR TOM MORROW
The first sentence says it all. "The Maui County Council has begun the hard process of trying to fill Tom Morrow's oversized boots." The editor then goes on to suggest there is no better replacement for Maui than J. Kalanai English. The last sentence says, "We hope the council will put petty politicking aside and pick the best candidate --J. Kalani English.
I guess in the next few weeks we will find out if petty politicking WAS set aside.
THE HARBOR REPORT
SILK PURSE HOOKS BIRTHDAY GIFT
Same old, same old. Actually for this particular feature all you need do is change the weight and species name of the fish each week and then change the photo and that would be the Harbor Report.
I never read past the first sentence which says, "Lori Havens, "The Nail Lady" had her birthday aboard the Silk Purse, capturing a 450-pound marlin for friend Jay Staley."
Despite such compelling documentation, I managed to control my urge to read further.
NAPILI MARKET/Food Pantry Center Page Ad
Scotch tape is on sale at 69 cents a roll.
Hmmm... something very suspicious. Bumble Bee Solid White Tuna and Kal Kan Whiskas Cat Food are offered on sale in the same week.
SPAM is on sale for $1.79 a can and you have your choice of regular, Lite and Less Salt.
Fresh Ground Beef is on sale for $1.99 a pound and someone has thoughtfully put Hamburger Helper on sale for $2.19 as well but none of this helps you if you are a vegetarian.
For the veggie eaters out there, carrots are 69 cents a pound and Fuji Apples are 99 cents a pound. I think it is starting to get ridiculous when major companies start buying up apple rights and then advertising their film on them don't you?
AH HAH! Decent beer being sold for a change... Moosehead is $9.99 for a 12 pack but for those who don't really care what you down, American beer is on sale for the same number of cans at $3.00 less.
Surprisingly there are no Red Flame Seedless Grapes on sale this week. This item has enjoyed the longest run in the centre page ads for those of you keeping track of such things.
Cool! Freshly Made Banana Cream Pies are $6.99 each. Sometimes it is hard to decide whether to eat 'em or throw them.
That's it for this week. I admit the LAHAINA NEWS hasn't been summarized with anything that could be regarded as regularity since September. My worst attribute and character flaw is a tendency to procrastinate. With something like a weekly newspaper, this works very well because after 7-10 days, there is no longer a need to procrastinate since my "time window" has vanished.
I do wish to get this issue out (late as it is) to take this opportunity to wish American readers a happy and safe Thanksgiving. For those of you lucky enough to live in Hawaii (we got our first snom now and I will be looking at white for five months) you should realize you have even more to be thankful for than most.
Aloha nui loa
^ Ursula Keuper-Bennett
0 0 Email: howzit@io.org
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LAHAINA NEWS SUMMARY for October 31st - November 7th, 1996
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by Ursula Keuper-Bennett
LAHAINA NEWS, the Little Paper That Could - Eyes on West Maui
This summary is being filled out IN Canada by a Canadian who subscribes to
the Lahaina News and wishes she was in Hawaii right now.
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First of all, I received this edition AFTER I knew about the plane crash
that took the lives of 5 people, one of whom was Tom Morrow. Certain parts
of this paper are sad reminders what Maui lost last Friday.
I need to go on record that I held Tom Morrow in the highest regard. I had
occasion to watch him at West Maui Community information meetings. The man
was FAIR and the man tried his best to BALANCE the needs of Maui County. He
also LISTENED.
It is likely the next issue of the Lahaina News will carry much information
about this place crash and the aftermath. I am just letting people know
about this tragedy before they read this summary.
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HAWAIIAN WAYS, CANOE RIDING, PART OF LESSONS FOR LAHAINA TEACHERS
About 50 teachers attended the afternoon session of the Consortium for
Teaching Asia and the Pacific in the Schools. This particular session,
meeting at Kamehameha Iki Park, focussed on the double-hulled voyaging
canoe, Hawaiian ocean activities and Hawaiian culture.
LAHAINA READY FOR HALLOWE'EN
Lahaina was gearing up for excitement again this year as it played host to
the "Mardi Gras of the Pacific" which has now become Hawaii's biggest
Hallowe'en celebration. The article goes on to explain the history and
growth of this yearly phenomenom and highlights one imaginative costume.
"was created by a New Jersey man -- a working shower, with a bather inside.
The costume required its own plane ticket home"
Actually this is nothing. Peter and I once attended a Hallowe'en Rocky
Horror Picture Show with a costume contest. One guy showed up TOTALLY NAKED
save for a white dusting (talcum or maybe white powder paint dunno) and he
came as one of the statues from the movie.
He got the $100 prize as most popular costume. The "most popular" was based
on crowd reaction. When a hand was held over HIS head the place went wild.
Even PETER cheered for him!
MARLIN MISCHIEF HITS JACKPOT
The boat Marlin Mischief took home $30 000 for a 437 pound marlin caught in
this year's Lahaina Fishing Jackpot Tournament. More on that later in the
Harbour Report.
ELEMENTARY TEACHERS 'HONOR THE CONTRACT'
Teachers in Lahaina have spent the last month in a union action that has won
statewide attention. Basically they are no longer putting in volunteer
hours to help with after school activities, such as tutoring or helping
children prepare for the Na Mele song fest.
The teachers are asking for a 14% pay raise and an independent fact finder
found the state could afford an immediate 10% one immediately.
Teachers' starting salary is $23 565 and the average salary is $35 800 after
10 years experience and 60 post-graduate credits.
Just a comment from a fellow teacher here. I don't feel that "tutoring" is
part of "volunteer hours". Helping kids after school should be a
requirement of the job, not something voluntary. The song fest though,
would be.
QUESTION OF THE WEEK
What is your favourite --or least favourite-- aspect of Hallowe'en in Lahaina?
Five respondents, three are male, here we go.
WHOA! This is INTERESTING! Four think it's really great... "great party"
"I like the keiki parade" "it's the best" and "exciting for the whole
family" said four out of the five.
The fifth --a male "minister" had this to say. "and have no fellowship with
the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them (Ephesian 5:11)
"There's one in every crowd". I don't know what part of the Bible that
comes from though.
ELECTION 96
Four entire pages are devoted to the candidates and their platforms. The
East Maui page and especially Tom Morrow's section was bitter to read.
Later on there is an ad paid for by The Friends of Tom Morrow and it shows
him with his horse "High Spirits". Mr. Morrow is smiling, shaka'ing with
his left hand. He is wearing a beautiful shirt with the stars and stripes
and he's wearing two leis. The ad simply states:
Let's work together for Maui County"
---------------------------------------
I know the readership looks forward to the Harbour Report and also the
centre page NAPILI MARKET/Food Pantry centre page ad. I just can't add them
here right after talking about Tom Morrow. If it is ok with the Prophet, I
will begin a second message with just that information in it.
Just got to close with something. Over the last while I have written a lot
about how I felt about Tom Morrow. I wrote to the Star-Bulletin, the Maui
News and the Lahaina News offering my condolences. I wrote in soc.culture
and now here in email. I wrote about how terrific I thought Tom Morrow was
to a whole bunch of people EXCEPT Tom Morrow.
I learned if you are affected by someone special, you should make that
person aware of how appreciative you are because fate could step in and
erase your chance.
I also learned that fate can step in when you are riding high and victory is
just 48 hours away.
Finally I was reminded how people can smile at you and hug you and say "see
you tonight" and you won't ever again. THAT was the most painful reminder
of all.
Cherish your friends and loved ones, boys and girls.
^ Ursula Keuper-Bennett
0 0 Email: howzit@io.org
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LAHAINA NEWS SUMMARY for October 10 - October 17, 1996
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by Ursula Keuper-Bennett
LAHAINA NEWS, the Little Paper That Could - Eyes on West Maui
This summary is being filled out IN Canada by a Canadian who subscribes to
the Lahaina News and wishes she was in Hawaii right now.
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STATE DOT WILL PLACE SIGNS TO WARN MOTORISTS
Prompted by a horrible accident that snarled traffic for four hours, the
Maui Visitor Task Force met to think up ways to create a network to inform
motorists of accidents and delays. One recommendation is to place "road
closed when flashing" signs on various sections of road.
There was concern that traffic snarls and the resulting inconvenience would
have considerable negative effects on tourism.
(Certainly a four hour traffic snarl on the only highway leading to the
airport would kill someone's chances of making his flight... )
WMTA WANTS TO PAY YOUTH GROUPS FOR CLEANING SEAWEED FROM BEACHES
West Maui Taxpayers Association plans to offer a "bounty" (cash donation) to
youth groups for each bag of seaweed collected. One beach was especially
high on the list of needy sites -- S Turns Park.
County officials want to get started as soon as possible and a pilot project
could be ready by this "winter".
AMFAC TO HOLD SCOPING MEETING
Amfac is still aiming to turn the only open undeveloped stretch of land
between Lahaina and Kapalua into money. A meeting is scheduled for October
15 for "information gathering" and to help determine what concerns should be
addressed in the Environmental Impact Statement.
COUNTY: DOT MUST PLAN TO MOVE HIGHWAY NEAR LAUNIUPOKO
Hard wall it or move it... that appears to be the issue with this stretch of
road being eaten away by ocean. Anyone driving Honoapiilani Highway this
summer will have noticed the highway's precarious situation, especially
during times of high surf.
On September 24, the Planning Commission dropped a six-year proviso and
instead required a long term plan for the highway's relocation. But moving
roads is expensive. Others still insist cementing the area will suffice.
The scuffling continues.
NEAT AD in the LAHAINA NEWS!
An ad placed by Amfac gives "Notice of EIS Scoping Meeting" for the proposed
North Beach development in Kaanapali claiming, "The developer wishes to
identify issues to be addressed by an Environmental Impact Statement.
Written and oral comments will be received at the meeting."
This, of course, is to create the ILLUSION, residents have a SAY in North
Beach's ultimate fate. Call me cynical and a tad weary in all this....
let's turn to the distraction of...
NAPILI MARKET/Food Pantry Ad
I guess Red Flame Seedless Grapes are always on sale. They are $1.79 a pound.
Kal Kan Cat Food is 3 for a dollar but you are out of luck if you have a dog
or budgie.
WHOA! Interesting item! Bertolli Extra Virgin Olive Oil. "Extra Virgin"
are two words I have never seen together before. I think I might be able to
determine what "Extra Pregnant" might be but "Extra Virgin" has got me.
It'll cost you $3.59 though,
Bud Light is $12.99 for a case of 24 and Red Dog or Icehouse Beer will cost
you a third that much $4.79 for a quarter of a case (6). Must be that Red
Dog and Icehouse are Australian beers because a Lahaina News reader wrote to
advise me all good beers come from Koala Land.
Tyson Chicken Thighs are $3.29 for a 5 pound box and each thigh is
personally autographed by the Heavyweight Champ himself.
The only other interesting item is Hefty Trash Bags at $1.99. A good thing
too coming on the heals of that seaweed bounty announced by the West Maui
Taxpayers' Association.
HARBOUR REPORT
ALOHILANI HOOKS UP NEAR LA BUOY
Local lady of the night Cerise Alohilani was charged today by Lahaina police
with various nasties happening on the fishing boat, Pakalolo Nui II. The
crew and passengers were just minding their own business happily depleting
Maui ocean of marlin and billfish when a rubber dingy chugged up steered by
Alohilani.
This was alleged to have occurred near the LA buoy and Lahaina bicycle
patrol had a tough time making the arrest. Seems none of the crew or
passengers were offended when she detailed various sordid acts that could be
performed and for how much.
They got in a flap when it was quickly revealed Alohilani was actually MALE
and not the luscious lady sporting a red feather boa they had hoped.
"The only good thing about the day," said a passenger later at the harbour,
"was I got no suntan lines."
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That's it for another Lahaina News Summary. Stay tuned to see if I actually
summarize
two issues in a row!
^ Ursula Keuper-Bennett
0 0 Email: howzit@io.org
/V^\ I I /^V\
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LAHAINA NEWS SUMMARY for September 12 to September 19, 1996
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by Ursula Keuper-Bennett
LAHAINA NEWS, the Little Paper That Could - Eyes on West Maui
This summary is being filled out IN Canada by a Canadian who subscribes to
the Lahaina News and wishes she was in Hawaii right now.
Yes, I am still working a week or two behind. Please do not blame the
Lahaina News for my perpetual procrastination and ability to find things
of greater interest.
NEWS NOT IN THE LAHAINA NEWS BUT STILL NEWS ANYWAY
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A special mahalo to Eric Randle who sent me this special URL and I visit
it several times a day. Eric writes, "You can get a real-time camera view
of Front Street in Lahaina if you go to this URL:
http://www.mauigateway.com/~video/index.html
I discovered it this morning at about 6:30 PST and they also show you the
last four stills from the previous hour. It is updated every 15-mins. or
so & it loads very fast, no waiting. So I got to watch the repair crew
fix the huge pothole on Front Street and an early morning delivery guy
(probably grumbling about why his new windsurfer bag smells so fishy) come
& go.
Eric coughed up the most interesting piece of news for the last three
weeks. Mahalo nui loa, Eric!
SCIENTIST FINDS FERTILIZERS WASHING INTO STORM DRAINS
Researcher Marty Stevenson reports that fertilizers from urban lawns and
from a monitored pineapple field are making their way into storm drains.
The study consisted of grab samples at Honokwai and Mahinahina. The
findings will be useful in recommending better fertilizer management
practices.
LIS LOOKS AT ALL-YEAR SCHOOLING
Lahaina Intermediate School is looking into the feasibilitiy of year round
schooling. Jeff Rogers, who heads the Lahaina Intermediate PTSA said
issues relating to year round schooling will be publicly addressed so
parents will understand the advantages in the year round system.
I don't suppose kids are gonna have a say on this one...
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Very little else in the way of news so I will head straight for the
NAPILI MARKET/Food Pantry Centre Page Ad
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No SPAM or papayas again this week but I don't really expect anything good
to happen to me between the months of September and July anyway.
Oh MAN! ABDOMINABLE CRAMPS TIME! Gallo Livingston Cellar wines are 2 for
$9.00 for those big vats. Down this with sweet whole canteloupes at 49
cents a pound and you'll be calling 911.
Red Flame Seedless grapes are once again on sale for $1.39 this week.
They can be used interchangeably with sweet whole canteloupes in the above
scenario.
Fig Newtons are on sale for $2.99 and by coincidence so is Pantene Pro-V
Shampoo!
Sparkle paper towels are 89 cents a roll but they don't.
Beer. Well thank you to the Aussie who wrote and told me REAL beer comes
from Australia. That means there is no real beer on sale this week but
Michelob and Miller are cheaper than usual.
For those who have lost faith with the West Maui water supply Crystal
Geyser Alpine Spring water is on sale again this week for 99 cents for 1.5
litres.
Morton salt is 59 cents this week so Maui birdies are in big trouble.
Tyson Chicken Thighs are on sale at $3.29 for a 5 lb box. I don't know
what happens to the rest of the chicken except the Yuen's Vegetarian
Surprise is on sale this week for a suspiciously low price of 39 cents a
10 pound portion. Maybe the chicken is part of the surprise.
On to the Harbour Report...EEEK! There isn't one, so I will have to make
one up.
HARBOUR REPORT
MAUI'S GAME FISH INDUSTRY HOLDS FIRST EVER TRACTOR PULL IN LAHAINA
Marlin and various billfish can rest easy this Friday as the captains of
Maui's fishing boats sign up for the First Ever Lahaina Tractor Pull
Contest. The rules were devised by a committee of fishing enthusiasts
just weeks before the event.
Tractor pulls have become quite popular in many parts of the United States
but as always Maui adds its own special flare to the event.
"We chain a John Deere to the back of our boats and see who has the
fastest time between Lahaina and Kapalua," exalted Bob (Dipper) Sweeney.
"We hope to make this an Olympic Event for 2004," he continued.
Results of the event will be posted in next week's Lahaina News Summary.
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I was about to sign off when I saw the last page of the Lahaina News.
YES! It has Lahaina Cannery Mall Happenings and Events!
Yup, just as I figured, First Ever Lahaina Tractor Pull Contest this
Friday,
Pineapple cutting demonstration, Keiki Hula Show, Hula lessons, some more
Hula lessons, Songs and Dances of Tonga, President Clinton visiting the
North Shore, Lei making demonstration (same time as Clinton's visit, how
to CHOOSE.... )
And on September 13-22 the Maui Professional Photographers' Exhibit.
NOW that's it for this week...
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LAHAINA NEWS SUMMARY for September 5 to September 12, 1996
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by Ursula Keuper-Bennett
LAHAINA NEWS, the Little Paper That Could - Eyes on West Maui
This summary is being filled out IN Canada by a Canadian who subscribes to
the Lahaina News and wishes she was in Hawaii right now.
I know this summmary is very late but I am still in a purple funk on this
end because I am in Canada and not Hawaii like I was this time a month ago!
This sentence was not generated to garner sympathy, just to explain things.
You might wonder about the 13th - 20th paper. I haven't received it yet. I
am happy about this because that means I can blame something else besides my
own tendency to procrastinate for THAT summary not being ready.
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EPA SCIENTIST HELPS RANK GROUNDWATER POLLUTION POTENTIAL
Hydrologeologist Matt Hagemann spent the summer researching potential
groundwater contamination of Maui's drinking water wells. He completed a
study on Oahu recently where he mapped areas of confirmed chemical
contamination.
Maui has already experienced some problem with contaminated wells and has
already had to close one drinking well near Napili. And Napili is really
close to where I drink so I am watching this issue closely now.
EROSION MIGHT NUDGE STATE TO MOVE ROAD INLAND
If you drive from West Maui to the Airport you will see a section of road
outrageously close to the ocean with some concrete barriers that invite cars
to hit it. Well the ocean is doing a number on this area and something has
to be done.
State wants to put up a massive rock wall to protect the road. But everyone
knows the problems that sea walls and the like create with beach erosion. A
meeting was held of September 10th to decide and I would report the results
to you but no one ever tells me ANYTHING!
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RESEARCHER: ALGAE CONTROL SHOWS PROMISE
This article is about the stink limu on Maui's shores and what should be
done about it. This is the branchy reddish purple weed called Hypnea
musciformis that was introduced from Florida and released into Hawaiian
waters. Scientists still wrangle over whether nutrients play a role in the
limu's growth.
Run-off and sewage are forever jostled around as possible factors in the
over-abundance of this weed. Me. I am just glad it wasn't as bad this year
as before. And I haven't seen Cladophora (the green slime) since 1992 so I
would agree the algae control appears to be working.
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I will skip the editorial and Letters to the Editor section and go straight
to what readers are REALLY INTERESTED in.
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THE HARBOUR REPORT
"TWELVE YEAR-OLD ALMOST LOSES A 410 POUNDER
Twelve year old Mary Basha recently teamed up with Crewman Chris Whittingham
to boat a 410-pound marlin while fishing aboard the Absolute with Capt.
Marty Sands." Since it was getting close to the beginning of the new school
year, the youngster wanted something truly impressive for the first week's
Show and Tell.
She stuffed the marlin --pointy part first into a windsurfer bag. At
Lahaina Harbour, Mary apparently hoisted the fish onto her shoulders,
thanked the captain and departed. Waiting for her dad to come to Front
Street to pick her up, she leaned the fish against the wall of Lappert's Ice
Cream Parlour and ordered her favourite confectionary.
Poor Mary discovered the fish was gone, windsurfing bag and all as she
licked her Kauai Pie waffle cone on her way out the store. Lahaina Police
are currently looking for a red and gold Windsurfer bag flapping its way to
the ocean.
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And now for the moment we have all been waiting for!
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NAPILI MARKET/Food Pantry CENTER PAGE AD
or... what you could have gotten on sale two weeks ago if you were in West Maui.
No SPAM or papayas. Booh.
Golden yellow bananas (THEIR redundency not mine) are on sale at 69 cents a
pound.
Crisp cucumbers on 79 cents a pound. The plums in the ad are arranged in
such a way as they remind me of a silhouette of Mickey Mouse. They are
$1.09 per pound.
For ladies and underwater photographers you can get Always and Always Plus
Maxi Pads on sale for $2.99. (she ponders how many people will nibble...)
Yet another 75 cent coupon for Calrose Rice this time around and Aloha Shoyu
is on sale for $2.99 for a half gallon. (I can never get over the fact the
stuff looks like what grasshoppers will spit up on you when you caught them
as a little kid).
Hormel Vienna Sausage (York Dorks as we call 'em in Canada) are on sale for
59 cents a can.
Cat food, dog food and Hefty trash bags are all on sale as well.
Charmin Toilet Paper (they call it Bathroom Tissue) is on sale for 99 cents
for 4 rolls. Interestingly they place it right beside the Libby's Corned Beef.
Coors Beers are on sale at two 6 paks for $7.00 and Molson Ice (Canadian
beer) is $5.99 for six bottles just to demonstrate what the REAL beer is.
Padua's 8 " Apple Pies are on sale for $4.99. If you empty a can of whipped
cream on the crust, you too can launch the thing at someone you don't regard
all that highly.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well that's it for this week, boys and girls... even though it is old
news.... as opposed to new news. Oh. The Lahaina News now has an
electronic edition and can be reached at the following URL.
http://www.maui.net/~mauiduck
This will allow you to marvel at the accuracy and thoroughness of my Lahaina
News summaries!
A note from the Better Late than Never Department:
--------------------------------------------------
Aloha gentle readers of the Lahaina News,
I am back in Canada now. It is September 11th and I can honestly say I am
over my jetlag. We left Maui on August 27th and the days since has been
just one long gnawing ache of withdrawal symptoms. They just keep getting
worse each year.
You know it isn't Maui so much that I miss --it is the turtles. Each
moment underwater with them offers a possibility of new discoveries,
insights and learning and THAT is what is so addictive. Quiting smoking
was easy. One day I just forgot to light up.
But those first few weeks away from the turtles I just want to crawl into
a fetal position and cover myself up with dirt. I had also imposed a
communication black out. I have not sent a single message to ACH/SCH just
because I didn't want to join the human race yet.
I am two Lahaina Newses behind. Today, for the first time I have summoned
the resolve to work on the last News of the summer. I will now read it
along with you..... fresh -- because it has been more than two weeks now
since I wrote it. I never completed it though..
LAHAINA NEWS SUMMARY for August 22nd to August 29th, 1996
---------------------------------------------------------
By Ursula Keuper-Bennett
This summary is being typed out on August 26th (our last Maui evening) on
the lanai at 8:34 pm Hawaiian time. I feel it only safe to warn you I am
on my second glass of wine and my ears turn red after the first. On this
my last evening, I am using Paul Masson Rose as my anesthetic.
It is dark and I am typing this by candle light so I can only do the
Weather Report (which was this summer's most popular feature) and the
Harbour Report which I am making up this week anyway.
WEATHER REPORT
It is dark out and in fact the glow of the computer screen and my dilated
wine-modified pupils make it hard for me to even make out a difference
between ocean and sky but I will try. Ocean is black and so is Molokai
but there is a light area above the mountains so Molokai still has its
share of clouds even on this clear and soft Hawaiian night.
I can't make out Lanai but I know it's there. There is just the faintest
whisper of trades right now. Most people would call it hot and a tad
muggy but me, a Canadian facing winter, me, it's just beautiful and gentle
and warm.
Ocean is shushing, no swells, not even an ankle snapper. I know we got us
a full moon but it is on the other side of the building. Blinking white
light of an airplane over Molokai heading west perhaps to Honolulu. Also
over Molokai the biggest Big Dipper you could ever imagine, the handle
stars pointing to Polaris and I know if I followed that star long enough I
would find Canada but right now I don't want to think about that she takes
another sip of wine.
I already miss the turtles.
As I said earlier it is evening, quarter to nine actually on my last night
here. I have the Lahaina News beside me but it is too dark. I have a
feeling that even if I turned on the light my wine induced haze wouldn't
allow my eyeballs to focus on the page. A mosquito just bit me. Good!
It'll collide into a palm tree with the alcohol content of my blood!
On to the Harbour Report.
THE HARBOUR REPORT
There wasn't one again this week but no problem. I got my own item for
THE HARBOUR REPORT. My dad bought my husband a new dive suit for a
birthday present. Peter looks quite handsome in the blue and black design
and from the back you'd swear it was a Star Trek uniform.
It was at the Turtle House on our first dive, a late afternoon 5:00 kind
of thing when I realized the blue fabric was TRANSPARENT. I mean every
body hair showing kind of transparent! Peter does not wear anything when
he slips into a dive suit and it was never a problem before.
But with THIS suit, ALL body parts showed through. In fact, if you took
him naked and sprayed him with blue and black paint you'd have a terrific
idea of what he looked like! The female readership here will understand
that while I would appreciate such a suit UNDERwater, on the beach I
wouldn't especially want other females to eye the merchandise so to speak.
I got out of the water, he stayed in the shallows and waited for me to
bring him some shorts! Later, we found out the suit lets go of the body
on land and only clings in the ocean. Either way, we cut material from
his old suit to make some bikini briefs and now he wears that WITH his new
suit.
In his own words, his old suit went to an "honourable end".
Well boys and girls, that's the end of August Harbour Report. It is
almost 9:00 pm and this is our last night. I want to enjoy it with my
Sunshine and not hunched over a computer screen. I know you will
understand. I will try to wake up tomorrow at 5:00 and actually summarize
this week's news. Later....
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
September 11, 1996
And so it goes. Later never came. But that's ok. Maybe this Lahaina
News wasn't news so much as a feeling. All of us fortunate enough to
visit Hawaii (I am talking ANY of the islands here) will understand the
melancholy of leaving.
For all of us stuck on the mainland, we share a kinship and I guess all I
want to say right now is when the plane lifted from Kahalui, I looked out
the window through tears but I could still see well enough to know that
Maui is still as beautiful as it was when I arrived.
It'll be there waiting for you also. I just hope you don't have to wait
10 whole months like I do.
Aloha and best regards!
--
^ Ursula Keuper-Bennett
0 0 Mississauga, Ontario
/V^\ I I /^V\ Email: howzit@io.org
/V Turtle Trax V\ Visit the Turtle Trax Cartoon at:
/V Forever Green V\ http://www.io.org/~bunrab/toon.htm
LAHAINA NEWS SUMMARY for August 15 to August 22, 1996
-----------------------------------------------------
By Ursula Keuper-Bennett
This summary is being typed out on August 16th on the lanai at 5:37 am
Hawaiian time.
WEATHER REPORT
There is weather all around me and while the sky is now a soft pussy
willow gray there is no hint of colours that -- yes there is. Over to the
north right near the horizon is the most subtle orange that only someone
looking for hint of colour would notice.
It is a tad chilly and the palm fronds doing the hula mean the windsurfers
will be happy today. The ocean waves only shush today, no snap or crash
so divers will be happy and surfers won't. The universe is unfolding as
it should. Now the very first birdie is chirping a condo or two to the
north.
I'll return to the weather report as sunrise progresses a bit more.
SOMETHING INTERESTING THAT HAPPENED IN WEST MAUI BUT DIDN'T MAKE THE
LAHAINA NEWS NEWS...
Now one of the problems with embellishing news in my Lahaina News report
is that when something REALLY happens people might not believe it. Two
interesting things happened this week that are more interesting than
anything in this week's Lahaina News except maybe the centre page ad.
First, a truck sheared off a fire hydrant and second a pufferfish sheared
off someone's index finger-tip.
So to certify the following two stories are true, here goes. I SWEAR on
the turtles that the following two stories are true!
TRUCK SHEARS OFF FIRE HYDRANT IN HONOKOWAI
Last week one evening, my dad complained there was little water pressure
when he tried to wash his hands. My mom had just gone outside with
binoculars to view the meteor shower when she ran in and announced a main
water line had broken along Honoapiilani Road and water was gushing ten
feet up
She was wrong. It was more like fifteen feet up. Police were calmly
directing traffic and people watched in detached amusement. But they soon
left. I guess with no coloured lights on the fountain this was rather
boring for people used to coloured lights on fountains.
Next morning, there was a yellow fire hydrant where the water gushed out.
PUFFERFISH SHEARS OFF TIP OF MAN'S INDEX FINGER
A couple of days ago I noticed a man with a large professional looking
bandage on the index finger of his left hand. He had all the appearances
of a man who did not want people to notice the index finger of his left
hand. So I asked him what happened to his finger.
Seems he is an avid fishermen and had been fishing since the moment he had
unpacked his bags here. (We had indeed noticed someone fishing non-stop
from shore) Here is his story.
He'd been fishing a few hours and finally landed a fish. I guess he
didn't know what kind of fish - he being a freshwater fisherman and all -
but he is the kind of fisherman I respect. He is a catch-and-release guy.
Well he tried to remove the hook from a PUFFERFISH! In 1989 Peter (my
husband) was bit for five stitches by a pufferfish. Well this guy got bit
right down to the bone and the tip of his finger was now where it
shouldn't be -- down the puffer's gullet.
He said he stabbed the fish several times and at this point the details
were so gruesome I didn't want to hear any more-- plus Peter was itching
to tell his bitten-by-a-pufferfish story. Got to give the guy credit, a
couple of days later I saw his arm in a plastic bag and he was
snorkelling. Haven't seen him fishing though.
NOW ON TO THE LAHAINA NEWS PROPER since there is now enough light to
see....
On the front page are articles about a Bed and Breakfast ordinance moving
forward through council. Seems some people want to turn their homes into
Bed and Breakfast places and neighbours worry about where all the
resulting cars will be parked.
Interesting concern since just this week, an Oahu man blew away three
people and himself over parking.
Another article is about road safety on this road. I guess you can tell I
never read past the headline and the caption to the photo.
Another article is about the Citizen Patrol at Honolua Bay and
Slaughterhouse. Seems the groups of volunteers are indeed having an
impact and there are far fewer break-ins. Police also feel this has
forced thieves into taking bigger risks by targeting places where they are
more likely to be seen.
There is a full two-page ad for a sidewalk sale at the Cinema Center.
Sidewalks are $4.98 a pound.
NAPILI MARKET/Food Pantry Center Page Ad
First off I know some of you are looking for my public service
announcement about potentially brutal combinations. Again this week we
have the Red Flame Seedless Grapes and lite beer combination -- the lite
beer in this case being Budweiser beers at $6.99 for a 12 pack.
In an example of art imitating real life, this week's Turtle Trax cartoon
shows what can happen to you. The cartoon is called "Pooped" and can be
viewed at:
http://www.io.org/~bunrab/toon.htm
Sweet whole pineapple is on sale at 59 cents a pound and honeydew melons
are even less at 49 cents a pound.
Jif peanut butter is on sale for $2.29 and you can slice broccoli with it
at 99 cents a pound. (The latter comment made purely to annoy my husband)
Oscar Mayer Meat Wieners are $1.95 and for the vegetarians among you,
similarly shaped carrots are 59 cents a pound but one tastes a whole lot
better with mustard and a baseball game.
Nice 'n Soft Bathroom Tissue is 99 cents for four rolls and Kal Kan Cat
Food is 3 for a dollar. That means a can of cat food costs more than a
roll of toilet paper yet the latter would last longer go figure.
What with all the cat food they have thoughtfully put Jonny Cat Litter on
sale this week at $1.49 for 5 lb.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
There is no HARBOR REPORT for this week and I don't think I'll make one up
because reality has outdone anything I could think up this week. For this
week's HARBOUR REPORT re-read the pufferfish incident only remember it
actually happened.
As you know, normally I would be quite happy to know a fish has triumphed
but this one saddened me. The man was compassionate enough to try and
help the fish out. I think he is the kind of guy who just likes to fish
even if he doesn't catch anything. He didn't deserve what happened to
him. So in that respect my husband's pufferfish story is better.
His thumb healed and he still gets plenty of mileage from his story. The
fish escaped unharmed, dignity intact. We are both a lot wiser in the
ways of certain piscine aquaintances.
CONTINUED WEATHER REPORT now that it is 6:35 am.
We got us a 50% cloudy sky here with the barest hint of a rainbow out by
Molokai. My husband just got up and he is so cute in his early morning
coma. Molokai is green and brooding and Lanai is its pink, cheerful self.
Winds are calmer than an hour ago and the ocean reflects cloud and sky.
Considering this is Honokowai ocean, it is relatively clean today. Clouds
moving east to west at quite a clip today which is interesting because
here on the ground there is only the barest whisper of breeze.
To all readers presently stuck somewhere other than Maui, my sympathies
but be comforted with the thought that in less than two weeks, I shall
join the rest of you -- a mournful frosty breath on the glass pane of life
that I shall now try and wipe clean.
Aloha nui loa
--
^ Ursula Keuper-Bennett
0 0 Mississauga, Ontario
/V^\ I I /^V\ Email: howzit@io.org
/V Turtle Trax V\ Visit the Turtle Trax Cartoon at:
/V Forever Green V\ http://www.io.org/~bunrab/toon.htm
LAHAINA NEWS SUMMARY for August 8 - August 15, 1996
---------------------------------------------------
By Ursula Keuper-Bennett
This summary is being typed out very early morning on August 9th on the
lanai just overlooking the ocean. Judging by the feedback, the impromptu
weather report is well received. So here it is.
WEATHER REPORT
Right now it is 6:15 and the sky is already telegraphing an intense Hawaiian
blue day here (just like yesterday). And just like yesterday there is very
little cloud cover. Molokai has a modest amount already tinged with orange
and peach. Lanai, on the other hand is naked as a 70's streaker and I
almost want to run over and offer it a beach towel.
Sky here is blue at the zenith fading into yellow almost lime green at the
horizon. Molokai proper is that kind of green trying to be blue and Lanai,
already lit by the sun, looks like it belongs in the US Painted Desert.
Palm fronds are barely moving but the tops of some are already lit by the
new sun. We got us a low tide here and there is a heron on one of the
volcanic shelves looking for a tasty. I suspect under the water all the
tasties are trying hard not to be. A male English sparrow is perched on the
corner of my lanai chirping for a handout but he's out of luck.
Ocean is extraordinary. A three dive kind of ocean only we just did three
dives yesterday and we're pooped. All that remains from this week's south
swell are gentle hissings along the seawall. Ocean is not lit so I don't
know how clear it is. Have yet to see my first turtle...
Oh yes. And the slightest of trades send ripples through the water but
there are completely calm streaks running parallel to the shoreline.
Please don't think the rest of the Lahaina News will be this long. I have
become aware of what is important to the readership. The weather report
(which isn't even IN the Lahaina News), the Harbor Report (which isn't IN
this week's Lahaina News so I will have to make one up) and the center page
food ad. So. On to the Lahaina News for this week....
LIS REGISTRATION IS WEDNESDAY
This is the Call to Doom for students and teachers alike at Lahaina
Intermediate School. They will be holding registration on August 14th from
8:00 am to noon.
The only consolation is school T-shirts and polo shirts will be on sale that
day as well.
SENIOR CENTER COMING TO PU'UKOLI'I VILLAGE
Amfac Maui announced that MPM Investors will build a full-service senior
retirement housing at Pu'ukoli'i Village. Plans call for 90 affordable one
and two bedroom apartment rentals. Costs vary from $540 for a one-bedroom
without meals or services to $1 148 for two people with meals and services.
DICKENSON STREET TO GET STOP SIGNS
When Peter (my husband) was walking to the car reading the Lahaina News I
saw a gesture of happiness for something on the front page. For any of you
familiar with Dickenson and Wainee Street this announcement comes as
terrific news.
THEY ARE FINALLY MAKING THIS A FOUR WAY STOP!
We have to go through there daily for our air supply. I am an expert about
the corner of Dickenson and Wainee. There are stop signs on Wainee and
traffic along Dickenson is go-through. But that is not what happens. Many
people (mostly tourists) assume it is a four way stop even if they are
travelling along Dickenson!
People wave each other through. People who have the stop sign don't.
People who don't have the stop sign stop. In other words, Dickenson and
Wainee is the most random place on this planet and Chaos Theory was likely
started by a physicist vacationing on Maui and forced to cross these two
streets each day he was here.
YOUTH CENTER, SPECIAL OLYMPICS HAVE THREE CHEERS FOR RACE WINNER
Roy E. Disney, set a new record with his yacht, the Pyewacket in the
Victoria to Maui International Yacht Race and to celebrate he donated $20
000 (half of it race winnings) to the West Maui Youth Center and the Special
Olympics.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
There is other news but we need to get breakfast, drive to Lahaina for air
(past Dickenson and Wainee) and then do our first dive so... cutting to the
chase...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
NAPILI MARKET/Food Pantry Center Page Ad
SAVED! SPAM and SPAM LITE are on sale this week at $1.69 a can. We were
down to our second last can with my parents arriving Sunday. (My dad will
eat the stuff too. My mom on the other hand has read the ingredients on the
back of the can.)
Crisp cucumbers are once again on sale for 79 cents a pound and with lettuce
69 cents a pound, and what passes for tomatoes around here at 89 cents a
pound, you could toss together a fairly decent salad.
HAHAHAHAHAHHH.... Guess what? Robitussin Cough Formula is on sale for $3.49.
WHOA! We got us a deadly combination here - Romeo's Three Bean Salad,
Olympic Monterey Jack Cheese and Eggplant Parmigiana Entree. I won't tell
you the sale prices for these because that would be socially irresponsible.
There is a 50 cents off coupon for Hinode Calrose Rice but that's useful
only if you know how to cook real rice which I don't.
Campbell's Tomato Soup is on sale for 89 cents and HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.. their
Chicken Noodle Soup is the same price. Use it with the Robitussin for those
nasty Maui colds.
For the Health Nuts among you, Healthy Choice Turkey Breast is on sale for
$2.19 and stewed tomatoes are 99 cents a can.
What's THIS? Kleenex are on sale for $1.49. Use 'em with the chicken
noodle soup and Robitussin and you can pretend to be Canadians.
All manner of once living things are on sale in the meat department. Pork,
beef, lamb, chicken, salmon are this week's choices.
>From the liquor department, we have Coors Beers again on sale this week at
12 cans for $7.00. For the more refined tastes Sutter Home Wines are 2 for
$9.00.
Seagrams Canadian Whiskey is $9.99 and you will be helping our trade
imbalance if you buy some.
THE HARBOR REPORT
As I said earlier, there is no HARBOR REPORT for this week but that has
never stopped me so here is...
THE HARBOUR REPORT
MAUI SPORT FISHING ASSOCIATION TO MAKE FISHING OLYMPIC EVENT
Arthur J. Manik of the Couldn'tthinkofadecentname III, President of the Maui
Sport Fishing Association has filed to make ocean sport fishing an Olympic
Event and hopes to be accepted for the Olympics 2000 in Australia. Manik,
recently returned from Atlanta, reported that talks with Olympic officials
went splendidly indeed.
Details need to be worked out not the least of which is how to train marlin
and billfish and get them to peak the summer of the year 2000. Manik
reported Maui's boat captains have geared up and are convinced boats and
crew will be ready for the next Olympics.
Conditioning and training for the fish however is the subject of lively
debate. In the meantime, the Happy Howzit and her crew of four picked up
several thousand beach sandals floating off West Maui beaches. No people
were retrieved wearing them however.
Meanwhile along Front Street sandals are on sale at $2.00 a dozen.
That's it for this week's Lahaina News boys and girls. It is exactly one
hour since I started this report. The day is even nicer than what I
described earlier. Through the binoculars I can see the first brown shell
with head poking up facing south. Turtles are going to be in a good mood
today what with the ocean this calm, the sky this blue, the sun this sunny.
I want all readers presently not in Hawaii to know I think of you at times
like this and understand. Maui is the most powerful addiction there is.
Withdrawal begins when you realize it will soon be time to leave and doesn't
stop until your plane touches down in Kahalui again.
MAN we got us an amazing day shaping up here... ocean is just busting out
with promise!
Aloha nui loa
--
^ Ursula Keuper-Bennett
0 0 Mississauga, Ontario
/V^\ I I /^V\ Email: howzit@io.org
/V Turtle Trax V\ Visit the Turtle Trax Cartoon at:
/V Forever Green V\ http://www.io.org/~bunrab/toon.htm
LAHAINA NEWS SUMMARY for August 1 - August 8, 1996
--------------------------------------------------
By Ursula Keuper-Bennett
This summary is being typed out on July 29th on the lanai as the first
rays of the sun light up the ocean which is very low tide because it is
full moon time an awkward sentence I know.
WEATHER REPORT
The sun has just risen and it is 5:59 Hawaiian time if you can believe a
watch that has had 1 000 plus dives on it. The sky is a most remarkable
colour. Near the zenith it is a very pale blue but scanning towards the
horizon it actually turns yellow. But in the last 10 degrees is a riot of
oranges, magentas, violets, and indigos that you swear the horizon is a
Guinness Book of Records rainbow laid on its side.
Molokai has its battleship gray clouds already gathered. Must have done
so last night when I was sleeping. Lanai has just the few early morning
wisps but there is a spike in one of the clouds that is lit up electric
pink by the morning sun. Palm fronds are gently swaying and then right
before my eyes is ocean.
Ocean is calm but not the millpond calm that makes diving so
extraordinary. Ocean reflects sky so it is blue and yellow everywhere but
around Molokai where ocean appears dark and brooding. I am still waiting
for the first turtle head to pop. Birdies are singing and none have shown
up to beg breakfast at my lanai yet. I am drinking Kona coffee - Maui
Blend - from Sir Wilfred's and it's time for a second cup.
KAMEHAMEHA III SEEKS VOLUNTEERS
King Kamehameha Elementary is looking for volunteers to help install a
computer network system from August 19-23rd. The computer network will
give each classroom access to the Internet and enable students to explore
the World Wide Web. Volunteers will help defray labour costs estimated at
$125 000.
WHOA! That's hard to believe. Even if King Kam school had 125 classrooms
there is no way installing a computer in a classroom costs $10 000 US.
DOE NOT SURE IF RECENT LAHAINA INTERMEDIATE UNIFORM VOTE IS VALID
Out of 550 families qualified to vote at Lahaina Intermediate, only 105
did so. 95 voted for uniforms. Since less than 25% of the families
voted, the state Department of Education has its shorts in a knot.
(ed. Why? Only 25% of people bother to vote for municipal elections and
THEY go through? The 75% who didn't vote sent THEIR message - "We don't
care". Simple)
HONOLUA DITCH WATER AGREEMENT "BOGGED DOWN" CRADDICK SAYS
There's a kerfuffle over water again. Different kerfuffle, different
stream but the main player is still Maui Land and Pine. This time it has
to do with getting enough water for a new residential and resort
development planned for West Maui.
EDITORIAL
Yup. Just as I thought. The editorial is about the Lahaina Intermediate
uniform vote. The Lahaina News is clearly disgusted with the poor voting
turnout and concludes it is the result of apathy. Bottom line? Go ahead
with what the people who bothered to show up decided on and you can blame
me for the wording not the Lahaina News.
(NOTE: Several pages in the rest of the paper is reserved for the MAUI
ONION FESTIVAL so I will cut to the chase)
NAPILI MARKET/Food Pantry Center Page Ad
Sweet honeydew melons are on sale for 49 cents a pound but Safeway has
them for 29 cents a pound. I bought TWO! (melons not pounds)
Sweet whole watermelons are 25 cents a pound and that is the cheapest
thing on the page.
A freshly made 8 inch Dobash Cake is $6.99 and if I knew what a Dobash
cake was I could tell you if that was a good price or not.
Meadow Gold Very Special Ice Cream is $3.99 for a half gallon. They don't
say what their Very Ordinary Ice Cream is selling for this week.
Johnson and Johnson Dental Floss is $1.19 for 50 yards.
Prego Spagetti Sauce is $1.79 for 30 ounces and cleverly placed close by
is an ad for Wisk Ultra Liquid Detergent at $3.79 for 50 ounces because
everyone knows any kind of spagetti sauce goes directly to any clothing
you put on for the very first time.
Van Camp's Kidney Beans are 69 cents a can but big deal. I have been
getting them at that price all summer.
Morton Salt is on sale at 69 cents but don't use them to sprinkle on
little birdies' tails.
For those of you environmentally irresponsible, Oscar Mayer Lunchables are
$1.59 at 4.5 ounces and all the excess packaging you ever dreamt of.
Budlight is on sale at $6.99 a 12 pack while REAL beer Steinlager or
Corona Extra is $5.99 for a 6 pack.
WOW! Chicken thighs and drumsticks are 99 cents a pound if you buy the
Value Pack and have a family of 8 minimum.
(ed. It is 6:35 and my sweetie just got up, eyes like peeholes in the
snow, hair like a birch broom with the fits, coffee cup in hand looking
like the morning after. Sky is now stronger blue and horizon pale yellow.
Molokai's clouds are throwing white and there is a fishing boat working
its way north. And speaking of fishing boats, it's time for.... )
THE HARBOUR REPORT
This one I will just quote.
"A QUICK FIGHT, BUT A GREAT SHOW
"LAHAINA - Quick and no problems describes the marlin captured aboard the
Islander II by Bob Benson. Bob cranked a 485 pound blue to the boat in 30
minutes on 50 pound test line with Capt. Sal Tarantino." Mr. Benson
however, had forked over $600 for the 7 hour fishing trip. An economics
major from Cal Tech, he figured 30 minutes was just 1/14 of 7 hours and so
he should only have paid $42.86.
The Islander II cruised into Lahaina with Benson and Tarantino in furious
debate over financial matters.
In the meantime the Happy Howzit had its Seniors' Special and took six
octogenarians for a fishing trip along Lanai's south coast. The seniors
saw a large pod of dolphins and preferred watching them and so the fishing
gear sat unused. During the trip the Happy Howzit, removed three plastic
bags, one gallon plastic jug and a no-name sneaker from the ocean.
That's it for another Lahaina News summary. We got us another really
terrific Hawaiian day here. Interesting sky shaping up. Exactly half the
sky is clean blue, the other (Northern half) is crammed with clouds. A
sparrow has just landed on the railway squawking for a handout. Husband
is busy watching TV and hasn't squawked about breakfast yet.
smile... and then as if on cue, a rainbow has just formed exactly in the
clear blue southern half of the sky. It is so big I can only see 1/4 of
the thing. Used to hear about there being a pot of gold at the end of a
rainbow. All the rainbows here on Maui I ever see stop right out in the
ocean.
Couple weeks back I trained my binoculars to the very end of a rainbow and
a turtle head popped up right through all the colours. One of so many
special memories I will take back with me this summer.
Aloha and best regards.
--
^ Ursula Keuper-Bennett
0 0 Mississauga, Ontario
/V^\ I I /^V\ Email: howzit@io.org
/V Turtle Trax V\ Visit the Turtle Trax Cartoon at:
/V Forever Green V\ http://www.io.org/~bunrab/toon.htm
LAHAINA NEWS SUMMARY for July 25th - August 1, 1996
---------------------------------------------------
By Ursula Keuper-Bennett
This summary is being typed out on July 29th on the lanai as the first
rays of the sun light up the ocean which is very low tide because it is
full moon time an awkward sentence I know.
WEATHER REPORT
We got weather here -- one of those patently blue Hawaiian skies with
clouds just along the horizon where they won't bother you. Molokai
already has its share of clouds. Lanai to my left is just beginning her
daily cloud gathering. We got gentle trades and already there is a hint
of whitecaps in the channel. Soon Glenn James will come on with the Maui
Weather Report and confirm West Maui will have a really terrific day.
IF IT'S OK WITH YOU....
Yesterday we did three dives, the first through a pod of dolphins,
clicking and whistling all around us. One looked me right in the eyes.
Three dives poops out these two almost fifty-built-for-comfort divers. I
vowed to get up early to summarize the Lahaina News but slept in. We
would like to get in another three dives today and to do that this summary
must be cut short. But no worry, the important parts like the centre page
ad and the Harbour Report will get complete treatment.
LIS PARENTS VOTE SUPPORT FOR SCHOOL UNIFORM POLICY
At a meeting at Lahaina Intermediate School most parents agreed with the
idea of school uniforms. They felt it was "worth a try". I think they
were referring to doing something about discipline problems. Some
speakers cited instances of other schools in other districts that have met
with fewer suspensions and discipline concerns when they adopted uniforms.
There ya go.
FARE HIKE OKAYED FOR MOLOKAI FERRY
Adult one-way fare went from $25 to $40 and children's from $12.50 to
$20.00. The fare increase was necessary for Sea Link of Hawaii (the ferry
company) to stay in business.
The ferry, the Maui Princess is able to carry up to 150 passengers but the
average trip carries only 40 people. With this fare increase, there may
be even less...
AMFAC CONSIDERS TIME SHARE AT NORTH BEACH
Six six-story buildings will provide a total of 280 one and two bedroom
units and will be crammed on a 14 acre lot at Airport Beach. This will be
a time share project called The "Kaanapali Vacation Club".
(ed. Airport Beach is one of THE BEST shore diving spots on West Maui...
I guess fairly soon we will refer to it in the past tense. Amfac invites
"its neighbors" for reaction to their "preliminary proposal". I know what
this means. There is a meeting. The residents oppose the project. It
goes ahead anyway.)
Time pressures now force me to proceed directly to the:
NAPILI MARKET/Food Pantry CENTER PAGE AD
By the way, a few days ago I dropped by the Food Pantry and managed to get
some papayas on sale for $1.49 a pound.
For the first time in MONTHS, this section is not advertising Red Flame
Seedless Grapes on sale. Fresh whole canteloupes are 49 cents a pound
though and I bought one there but haven't eaten it yet.
Crisp cucumbers on are sale at 69 cents a pound. Should have gone there
because the ones at Safeway were kind of on the limp side. There is only
one thing worse than a limp cucumber.
....a limp pickle. They don't go crunch as advertised.
(Before I start getting lots of email on the above, please remember this
is a FOOD report...)
Again, for those people who have lost confidence with the West Maui
groundwater supply, bottled water is on sale at 99 cents a gallon.
Van Camp's Pork and Beans are two cans for a dollar and Western Family
Basic Diapers are $3.99 for a carton and paper towels are 89 cents a roll
not that I am implying any relationship here --they are just placed that
close together on the page.
Corned beef hash is on sale at $1.79 a can and Arm and Hammer Baking Soda
is 79 cents.
If you like beer, too bad ---there is none -- but Miller is on sale at
$6.79 for a 12 pack.
Gallo Livingston Cellar Wines are on sale at 2 for $9.00. for the 1.5
liter vats. I think they are called Cellar Wines because that's where
most people drink them,
....and the MOMENT we have ALL been waiting for!
THE HARBOUR REPORT!
I will quote. "EXACT ENJOYS BRIDGE PARTY NEAR LANAI"
and I quote again... "LAHAINA - The Exact found itself in the middle of a
billfish bridge party with 3 to 4 marlin over 400 pounds" all resting at
the bottom drinking beer and smoking cigars. Actually there were exactly
four of them and they were there for their monthly Bridge game.
Marlin and his wife Marlene travelled all the way from Kona just to smoke
cigars and enjoy the evening with their good friends Clarence and Edna.
Then the Exact showed up. All four found the lures dropped in their faces
rather distracting but continued their game well into the late afternoon.
After an hour of no action, the Exact moved further along the coast where
it met the Happy Howzit bringing in its catch of a 500 pound fishing net
recklessly set adrift off the Molokai coast.
YIKES! "Good morning, how you feelin'?" It's Glenn James with his Maui
weather report coming on TV... He just said it is a "BEAUTIFUL morning out
there". Told ya so! Time out.. have to go watch. Covers computer so no
sparrows crap on the lid.. I'm back. Glenn has a really nice brown-black
Hawaiian shirt on and has promised us a "very clear and beautiful day" and
I believe him.
Lastly there is now enough sun to see the details in the ocean. She grabs
binoculars to look at Turtle House action. AH HAH! Just as I thought..
no turtle heads popping up. They're watching Glenn James too right now.
That's it for this week's Lahaina News. Aloha nui loa.
--
^ Ursula Keuper-Bennett
0 0 Mississauga, Ontario
/V^\ I I /^V\ Email: howzit@io.org
/V Turtle Trax V\ Visit the Turtle Trax Cartoon at:
/V Forever Green V\ http://www.io.org/~bunrab/toon.htm
LAHAINA NEWS SUMMARY for July 18th - July 25th, 1996
----------------------------------------------------
By Ursula Keuper-Bennett
This summary is being typed out at you the morning of July 19th at 5:50 am
Hawaiian time. I've missed too many sunrises lately so here I am
supervising this one. To the north the sky is pale yellow/blue but to the
south over Lanai it is cotton candy day-glo orange. In between it promises
to be another patented Hawaiian summer day.
Molokai is battleship gray, its clouds streaked vertically and to the north
the streaks obscure the island altogether. YIKES! The streak swings all
the way to the north and wraps itself around north Maui too. It's raining
here too.
The ocean has a swell running through it. There is a constant shush and
thunk from where the waves hit the seawall --the kind of swell that
photographers enjoy but divers would rather see elsewhere. As I type
serious clouds are rolling east to west and eating up what promised to be
blue Hawaiian sky. Pooh....
LAHAINA NEWS
1/4 page photo of the Lahaina Jodo Mission where the annual O-Bon Festival
was held. Crowds gathered to watch Japanese folk dancing and the Floating
Lantern Ceremony where they set lanterns out to sea.
POLICE NEED HELP TO IDENTIFY BODY FOUND AT NAKALELE
Lahaina police need help in identifying a male who jumped into the ocean at
a "Rave" party at Nakalele Point Saturday night. A fire rescue crew
recovered the mid-section of the victim. It appeared to have been "hit hard
by a shark".
WATERSHED COMMITTEE HEARS ABOUT SEAWEED, RUNOFF AND WELL PROTECTION
Government officials and private citizens interested in environmental
protection met at the quarterly meeting of the West Maui Watershed Project
Advisory Committee. Much of the evening was spent discussing the problem of
nuisance seaweed, finding better ways to control storm runoff and protecting
local drinking wells.
DIAL "D" FOR DATABASE AT THE LAHAINA LIBRARY
On Monday and Tuesday, July 22/23, the Lahaina Library will help acquaint
library patrons with the new automated system called DYNIX. Patrons will be
able to order material for pick-up at other branches and for the first time,
access the Internet.
EDITIORIAL The title "BED AND BREAKFASTS SHOULD BE LEGALIZED" says it all.
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR - One from County Council and two dumping on Moses
Kanahele for his letter about the Whale Sanctuary appearing in last week's
paper.
QUESTION OF THE WEEK: Where is your favourite beach and why?
(Considering this is an election year, these questions of the week read like
the kinds you would ask beauty contestants of Miss Universe figuring surely
EVERYONE has an answer for this one....)
OK. three males, two females and all had a favourite beach. Everyone
reported on a different beach because it was "quiet", "nice for my
daughter", "nice place to surf", has "good diving", "is the one I go to the
most" and "has a lot of naked people around".
NAPILI MARKET/Food Pantry CENTRE PAGE AD
Pooh, no SPAM or papayas AGAIN THIS WEEK!
Always Pantiliners are on sale for 99 cents an 18-carton. (I like to get
the best stuff out of the way first...)
Hormel Vienna Sausages (York Dorks as they are called by some Canadians) are
on sale for 59 cents a can.
Tombstone (unfortunate name for a pizza) pizzas are on sale at 3 for $10.00
and there is a 50 cent coupon for a 20 pound bag of rice if you'd rather
have something healthy.
I Can't Believe It's Not Butter is on sale for $1.49 a tub and that sounds
HUGE and a bargain only the tub is 2/8 ounces and you CAN believe it's not
butter.
Kal Kan dog food is on sale for 59 cents so Bowser should be happy this week...
T-bone steaks are $4.99 a pound and ground beef is 99 cents a pound. For
the vegetarians, there are chicken thighs and niblets corn on sale.
Red Flame Seedless Grapes are $1.29 a pound and honeydew melons are 60 cents
a pound.
WOW! I DIDN'T KNOW THIS! Paul Masson Carafe Wines are on sale at 2 for
$7.00!!! It's usually 2 for 8.. TIME FOR ME TO STOCK UP! (When your ears
turn red after the first glass of wine, it doesn't matter WHAT you drink so
I go cheap..)
NO HARBOR REPORT THIS WEEK so as usual, I am forced to make something up.
HARBOR REPORT
The Fifteenth Annual Go-Grabbum West Maui Fishing Tournament was a great
success. A record seventeen boats plied the waters of West Maui for fish
and caught of record of 11 000 pounds of fish so far. The top five boats
are the Can'tthinkofadecentname III, Bop-doo-wah, Happy Howzit, Limu and the
Summdumm (without its captain who is still facing charges re. last week's
fiasco).
The largest fish caught so far was a blue marlin at 530 pounds by the
BookumDanno. The tournament, which will last all weekend, has attracted
participants from all over the world.
WHOA! WHAT'S THIS?? Oh.... Roxana's Hari Affair ad... I thought the
Lahaina News had finally accepted advertisements for those seedy telephone
sex type things. You know, some babe looks seductively from a newspaper ad
and says she is ready for your phone call so long as you provide your
mastercard number? Well all three bim..or ladies in THIS ad look more like
they await your call than are interested in their hairdos.
For the gentlemen in the reading audience, you might consider hanging out at
the Kahana Gateway and let us know if Roxana's really DOES turn out such
fine products....
On the same page, Jameson's Bar and Grill has Rack of Lamb for $12.95 as an
alternative to Roxana's.
WEATHER REPORT for July 20th.
Same as yesterday only later in the day. Ocean is West Maui Red which is
now what happens any time there is a little swell working. Molokai is
shrouded in white-gray-violet haze and Lanai is already trapping its daily
share of clouds.
Should be another beautiful Maui day. Wherever you are, I hope you enjoy
yours. Aloha nui loa
^ Ursula Keuper-Bennett
0 0 Mississauga, Ontario
/V^\ I I /^V\ Email: howzit@io.org
/V Turtle Trax V\ Visit the Turtle Trax Cartoon at:
/V Forever Green V\ http://www.io.org/~bunrab/toon.htm
LAHAINA NEWS SUMMARY for July 11th - July 18th, 1996
By Ursula Keuper-Bennett email: howzit@io.org
This summary is being typed out at you the morning of July 12th at 7:23 am
Hawaiian time. I am typing with one eye on the notepad screen, one eye on
the calm West Maui ocean and one eye on the birdies what come begging for
handouts and when they don't get any come strutting right into the condo
inspecting the carpets.
It is clear my most popular feature last week was the impromptu weather
report so here I go.
IMPROMPTU WEATHER REPORT
I got up too late and missed the sunrise but at 7:25 am Hawaiian time we got
us a pale blue sky with white cotton candy blowing across. Along the
horizon are the white billowy clouds you will accept because they could be
big fat dark rainclouds that dump red soil into your ocean with the
assistance of the Army Corps of Engineers.
The ocean reflects sky and as Maui Weatherman, Glenn James reported, we are
getting the very first signs of a swell. Nothing for us divers to worry
about.. they shush and don't crash. Molokai is in a modest mood today
wearing a full compliment of clouds and Lanai is just beginning to put on
its show. The tallest palms are swaying gently - the shorter ones haven't
gotten the idea yet. One guy is waist deep in the ocean with a large white
plastic pail picking limu... the guy, not the pail.
And now on to the LAHAINA NEWS SUMMARY
RESIDENT PROVIDES CRUCIAL LINK IN A CHAIN OF SURVIVAL
West Maui resident Al Kwiecinski's recently donated a $6 000 defribillator
to the Napili Fire Station. This is a crucial piece of equipment needed to
assist people suffering from fibrillating hearts. What was interesting to
read is every fire station in Molokai has one but not a relatively
prosperous community like West Maui. Kwiecinski just changed that.
The other thing interesting in this article is how community donations and
contributions of $600 000 helped to build the Napili Fire Station.
PYEWACKET MAY BREAK VIC-MAUI RACE RECORD
The Pyewacket crossed the finish line of the Victoria-Maui International
Yacht Race at 2:36:30 am and race officials believe this will shatter the
old time set by the Merlin in 1992.
YESSS! I can hear Maui Weatherman's Glenn James show music just come on.
We never miss his weather show! He has been giving us decent weather so
far.. and in our opinion he is the best weatherman on the planet. We will
keep this opinion as long as the diving weather is good.
COMMUNITY MAY VOTE SOON ON UNIFORMS AT LIS
This article is about Lahaina Intermediate School considering school
uniforms for their youngsters. Recall last week a school in Kihei was doing
the same thing. Uniforms are for people who think bullies and disinterested
students can be turned 'round by a different set of threads.
EDITORIAL is about the school uniform issue. Let me quote. "Uniforms are
certainly worth considering, and if the school needs change, why not discuss
it now?"
So long as people don't expect magical things to happen once the youngsters
all look alike. Teaching won't be easier, kids won't get bullied any less
and no kid will all of a sudden see the light and actually do the homework
he had always avoided in the past.
COMMUNITY CORNER
I don't normally cover this but there is a disgusting piece of news here.
There were flags flying for the Fourth of July throughout Lahaina. Seems
there were US flags and Hawaiian flags flapping happily all along Front
Street. PEOPLE STOLE THE FLAGS! Like how LOW can you get?! And the most
popular were the Hawaiian flags. Of the 70 Hawaiian flags they now have
less than five. "less than five" can mean four and it can also mean none.
Here is an interesting sentence. For next year "better and stronger methods
of securing the flags" will be devised. (I suggest a strong 10 000 watt
electric jolt for those getting a charge out of ripping off the Lahaina
community).
(I will now rush this report. It is 5 to 8, the ocean is so calm and
through my binoculars I can see two brown turtle shells floating above the
Turtle House. The sun is beating up more clouds, a steady stream from
Molokai, all along the north horizon and then up into the West Maui
mountains. Birdies are chirping and Glenn James is talking about sunshine
and he is right because I am presently experiencing this.
NAPILI MARKET/Food Pantry CENTRE PAGE AD
YES! SPAM and SPAM LITE are on sale at $1.69 a can. Decent price but I
still got 10 cans from when we first arrived.
C & H granulated sugar is on sale at $1.99 per 5 pounds. I wonder what it
would cost without subsidy....
Both zucchini, leaf lettuce and broccoli are all on sale at 99 cents a pound.
The red things they call "fresh ripe tomatoes" are on sale for 89 cents a pound.
Stayfree Maxi Pads are $2.99 (24 per carton). If you suspect a leaker in
your underwater camera housing, these things work well. Cut into tiny
strips they can cover a puka-ding on your husband when he accidentally
slammed his thumb on his camera housing, not that this actually happened
last week or anything...
Bud Light and all manner of beers, wines and liquor is on sale for those who
are interested in such stuff.
Ground beef is 99 cents a pound if you buy the Value Pack and don't mind 30%
fat.
HARBOR REPORT
MAUI CREW HOOKS A BEAUTY OFF KONA
The fishing crew of the Summdumm were involved in an international incident
last week. Seems Captain of the Summdumm, Biggin Dumm was using fishing net
illegally off the Kona Coast of the Big Island.
Taking only her second SCUBA lesson was Ingrid Tannenbaum 1996 Miss West
Germany of West Germany. Only into her first fifteen minutes underwater she
was suddenly scooped up by a large fishing net and dragged along for over 2
miles.
Only much later did the Summdumm haul up the net. To their surprise they
discovered the most beautiful SCUBA diver they had ever seen, a medium sized
Hawaiian Green sea turtle and a very angry Hawaiian monk seal.
The United States is presently apologizing its best to the West German
government for almost drowning its 1996 Miss Universe contestant. Captain
Dumm is having to explain mightily why he was dragging such a net to the
National Marine Fisheries Service who does not take kindly to its sea
turtles and monk seals getting caught in illegal nets.
On the same day this was happening, the crews of the Happy Howzit brought in
a 545 pound marlin and the boat the Republican Agenda caught 450 weke off
the Lahaina coast.
It is now 8:15 Hawaiian time. We got us another fine Hawaiian day here..
clouds circling the horizon but blue sky where it really counts... right
over our dive site at Honokowai.
For anyone interested in our weekly sea turtle summary, aim your browsers at
the following URL.
Aloha nui loa
^ Ursula Keuper-Bennett
0 0 Mississauga, Ontario
/V^\ I I /^V\ Email: howzit@io.org
/V Turtle Trax V\ Visit the Turtle Trax Cartoon at:
/V Forever Green V\ http://www.io.org/~bunrab/toon.htm
LAHAINA NEWS SUMMARY for July 4th - July 11th, 1996.
I am happy to report this summary is being brought to you by a Canadian IN
Maui typing this off the lanai while looking for turtle heads popping out of
the ocean. I apologize for missing the last two editions of the Lahaina
News but we have been rather busy with packing and procrastinating.
Presently practically all of our day is spent diving with the turtles,
summarizing our dive logs and recording behavioural information and
reviewing video. We also have to remind ourselves we are on "vacation".
For anyone interested in our sea turtle summaries, you can read them at the
following URL:
http://www.io.org/~bunrab/happen.htm#asit
Now with the excuses out of the way...
WEATHER REPORT
It is 7:40 am and the ocean is somewhat calm. Silt from last Saturday's
rain still makes it look murky. The palm fronds are gently swaying and I
hope it stays that way. Nasty trades churn up the ocean and flood your
snorkel on the way out to your dive site. The sky is Hawaiian Blue and
Molokai and Lanai are already trapping the clouds for the day.
On to the Lahaina News
FRONT STREET PROJECT MOVING ALONG, AS CONSTRUCTION STARTS ON SIDEWALKS
The $9.5 million Front Street Improvement project has been taking place
between 11 pm and 9 am. I hope that doesn't mean that is the only time we
would notice the improvements....
ALANO CLUB HELPS PEOPLE IN RECOVERY
The Alano Club has been formed so there is a place for recovering alcoholics
to go to socialize. Club vice president comments that there are dozens of
bars in Lahaina but no support place for those battling alcoholism. Now
there is.
STATE PICKS OCEANIT FOR ALGAE CLEANUP GRANT
The state has approved a $75 000 business start up grant to remove seaweed
from Maui's nearshore waters.
VOLUNTEERS SOUGHT TO MONITOR WEST MAUI'S WATERS
Volunteers are needed to help monitor turbidity and algae blooms in West
Maui's waters. Twice a month, community volunteers measure the severity of
water problems at 28 beaches in Maui. For more information, call Marc
Hodges at 573-2267. Hodges is looking for volunteers who will take
measurements during and after rainstorms.
EDITORIAL - is about the degradation of the ocean along West Maui and the
Lahaina News editorial encourages residents to get involved.
QUESTION OF THE WEEK
What is your favourite recreational activity?
Five respondents. All five mentioned ocean activities. Hope they get
involved in monitoring conditions off their coastline....
NAPILI MARKET/ Food Pantry CENTER PAGE AD
Actually went to the Pantry two days ago to get some stamps. The lady said
"Sorry we close at 4:30." It was 4:29.... Must have gotten pointers from
our CANADIAN postal service!
Crisp cucumbers are on sale for 69 cents a pound. Limp ones are
considerably cheaper.
Red seedless grapes are a bargain at $1.39 a pound.
Brie cheese is $4.99 a pound and Coor's Beer is on sale at $9.99 for an 18
pack. Fortunately Listerine mouthwash is also on sale for $3.69 for the 500
ml bottle. You'll need to guzzle the whole thing if you consume both
cheese'nbeer.
Natural mountain water is on sale for 89 cents for those of you who have
lost confidence in the natural water wells along West Maui since the EPA has
approved the injection wells.
One caution - Minute steak is on sale for $4.99 a pound and you would THINK
that minute refers to the time required to cook it. NOT TRUE! It refers to
the SIZE of the meat portion. So be forewarned!
Gummybears are on sale for 59 cents a pound IF you can prove you were at the
Soc/al.culture hawaii function at Sharkstooth yesterday. For technical
writers they are free but you have to carry them out in your stomach.
Propane gas is available for the asking provided you are prepared to mow the
lawn off Honokowai Beach Park and drive your truck in all the way from Kahalui.
Papayas aren't on sale and in fact they were $1.79 a pound at Safeway and
they were greenies! No SPAM on sale either although it was $1.39 a can at
Safeway on the day we arrived and we bought 15 cans of SPAM LITE.
NOW THE MOMENT YOU HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR...
THE HARBOR REPORT
REEL HOOKER LANDS YEAR'S SECOND BEST
This is an article about the Happy Howzit and four technical writers who
chartered this fishing boat for July 1st. There is the usual description
about searching for the big fish and the men casting their new Acme
Thunderer Proficient R-2000 fishing reels complete with complicated owners'
manuals.
Fistfights broke out when one of the tech writers commented on how ponderous
the wording was in the first paragraph of the Flyby Willie Lure and Plug.
Seems the guy who wrote the manual was on the boat and overheard the comment.
Police and government officials had to be called in to quell the scuffling.
Further down the coast the fishing boat the Reel Hooker landed the second
best marlin of the 1996 season... and they didn't even need a user's manual
to do it.
It is now 6:07 pm Hawaiian time as I put the finishing touches on this
summary. I want everyone to know my Canadian email address works if you
want to send me messages. The sun is moving its way lower in the sky and I
really do want to get a snorkel in before it sets. It is hard to work on
computer when there is Hawaii outside!
Aloha nui loa and best regards
^ Ursula Keuper-Bennett
0 0 Mississauga, Ontario
/V^\ I I /^V\ Email: howzit@io.org
/V Turtle Trax V\ Visit the Turtle Trax Cartoon at:
/V Forever Green V\ http://www.io.org/~bunrab/toon.htm
LAHAINA NEWS SUMMARY for June 6 - June 13, 1996 ------------------------------------------------------ by Ursula Keuper-Bennett
LAHAINA NEWS, the Little Paper That Could - Eyes on West Maui This summary is being filled out IN Canada by a Canadian who subscribes to the Lahaina News and wishes she was in Hawaii right now. --------------------------------------------------------------------- SAD NEWS LAHAINA INTERMEDIATE MOURNS TEACHER'S DEATH
Lahaina Intermediate School teacher Pollyann Van Zweden (45) died in a five-car automobile accident near McGregor Point after a 1982 Ford Bronco driven by a 26 year old Kihei man crossed the centre line. Police suspect the driver may have been drinking prior to the crash. The amount of crush that the vehicles sustained will help to determine whether speed was a factor in the accident.
Six people were treated in hospital including the Bronco driver.
Upon hearing of her death, a school committee was organized to help the faculty and student body deal with the tragedy.
AN USUAL CATCH
Small photo of a ghost net being hauled onto Lahaina Harbour. Gemini Charters estimated there was 600 poounds of mixed netting floating in the ocean a quarter mile off Kaanapali. The netting was a deathtrap for many fish including a marlin.
(Note: My husband and I are familiar with Gemini Charters as they drive over top of us in Honokowai ocean almost every day on their way north. We however are in 50 feet of water when they go past. We want to thank them for caring enough to remove the net as a hazard.)
EDITORIAL HELP PREPARE FOR THE WORST
The editor writes that Maui has been pretty lucky in recent summers and that hurricanes that could easily trash West Maui have fizzled out before they did any real damage. This editorial is a reminder not to let our guard up.
The Letters to the Editor are about cane harvest dust, library land, and the Graduation Project.
QUESTION OF THE WEEK (I don't like the new format. I prefer the landscape
style to the new up'ndown which looks haphazard and
disorganized. Question is, "What can be done to make our roads safer?" Interesting question in light of the teacher killed on Maui's road that week. Three males, two females.
The males respond:
One lane highways are dangerous. We need an H-1 freeway, away from traffic, near the beach.
(Sure.. but where would you PUT it?)
Light up the streets, enlighten the people. Mix in a little love and respect.
We need more traffic lights on major intersections and more patrolmen observing drivers instead of waiting for something to happen.
The females respond:
(Oops! I was hoping for better answers from the females but get this...)
More room for bike lanes
Roads and bike lanes should be marked as to direction and signs should be posted.
(So there...)
PATROL IS DETERRING CRIME AT BEACHES
Remember a while back about that citizen volunteer group that would patrol remote beaches like Honolua Bay? Well about 28 people have stepped forward and are helping out. It appears no crimes have been committed while the patrols are in place.
***OF INTEREST from the Summarizer of the Lahaina News***
Last week I announced I would not have the time to summarize the paper while I was on Maui because I preferred to spend my time on sea turtle work. I got two responses who both said the same thing.
They said, don't worry about summarizing the news, just summarize the Harbor Report and the NAPILI MARKET/Food Pantry centre page ad! I am BAFFLED!
Anyway, I know that when I get my Lahaina News, these are the two features I enjoy the most too so I just want to announce no matter what, I will summarize them each week.
Now, boys and girls, back to our regular programme.
NAPILI MARKET/Food Pantry Centre Page Ad
OH MAN LOOK AT THIS! Sweet whole watermelon at 19 cents a pound AND Red Flame Seedless grapes for $1.69. WHOA! and sale on two different types of beer Budweiser at $9.99 for a case of 18 and FAR FAR WORSE, Pete's Wicked Ale at $6.99 for a six-pack.
HOKEY SMOKE and Van Camp's Pork and Beans at 2 cans for a dollar.
AND NO WHERE ON THIS PAGE IS THERE A GOVERNMENT WARNING ABOUT CONSUMING THE ABOVE ITEMS TOGETHER IN ONE SITTING!
Chicken Adobo is on sale for $4.99 a pound and since I haven't a clue what that is I don't know if it a good price or not.
Hormel smoked turkey is on sale at $5.99 a pound but who would want to smoke turkey?
Coral Chunk Light Tuna is on sale again at 65 cents a can. I can't make out a dolphin safe label so be sure it's there before you buy.
French's Squeeze Mustard is on sale for 99 cents but make SURE you rotate the top counterclockwise BEFORE you squeeze or you'll be wearing yellow.
Pork Butt is $1.59 a pound and Jumbo Hot Dogs are even cheaper at 99 a package for you carnivores out there.
No SPAM or SPAM LITE today and as usual no papayas. I think they do this deliberately to irritate us.
HARBOR REPORT
(Last week I had several people asking for additional information about the marlin who strapped several pounds of dynamite to its body and attacked a local fishing vessel. Apparently some of you found this difficult to believe.
Worse, I had someone ask if the marlin, boat and crew were blown to smitherines, how did I know the marlin weighed 535 pounds. The complete story is slated to be viewed on next season's X Files so watch for it!)
TALE WALKER TAKES THE MAALAEA TOURNAMENT
This article summarizes the amazing feats of the fishing boat TALE WALKER at the Maalea Tournament during the Memorial Weekend. Seems while the boats, Finestkind, No Ka Oi, Kikbutt, Rubberducky and NewtGingrich weren't looking, the crew of the TALE WALKER removed ALL marlin, tuna and ahi from their decks and then chugged into Lahaina Harbor to claim these fish as their own.
As a result the TALE WALKER took the Maalaea Tournament in addition to the new record of 11 266 pounds of fish! Officials are investigating the incident as I type.
That's it for another Lahaina News summary.
^ Ursula Keuper-Bennett
0 0 Mississauga, Ontario
/V^\ I I /^V\ Email: howzit@io.org
/V Turtle Trax V\ Visit the Turtle Trax Cartoon at:
/V Forever Green V\ http://www.io.org/~bunrab/toon.htm
LAHAINA NEWS SUMMARY for May 30 - June 6, 1996
------------------------------------------------------
by Ursula Keuper-Bennett
LAHAINA NEWS, the Little Paper That Could - Eyes on West Maui
This summary is being filled out IN Canada by a Canadian who subscribes
to the Lahaina News and wishes she was in Hawaii right now.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
COUNTY AND STATE AT ODDS OVER SEA WALL
This article is about a stretch of the Honoapiilani Highway by Launiupoko
Park that is badly eroded. Presently there is disagreement as to the best
way to deal with the problem.
The state Highways Division wants to build a revetment (something that
annoys county) to keep the highway intact during high surf but county
Planning Department worries a wall might make things worse.
CHEMICAL COMPANIES ASKED TO PAY FOR CONTAMINATED NAPILI WATER WELL
Several chemical companies have been named as defendants in a lawsuit filed
by the county Board of Water Supply. According to the lawsuit, the
defendants "negligently, recklessly and intentionally failed to properly
control, apply and/or dispose of DBCP products."
QUESTION OF THE WEEK
What are your ways of beating the heat?
Two females, three males were approached. Answers ranged from "I drink to I
look for women to get my mind off things." ...and you should have seen what
the MALES answered with!
EDITORIAL
The editorial is about keeping the pressure on saving the "fastest rideable
wave in the world". Apparently when things are just right, Maalaea
attracts hundreds of people because of the waves there. The Army Corps of
Engineers wants to construct a jetty. The Lahaina News clearly opposes this.
Pages 6 and 7 are full of faces, 141 to be exact. I know. I counted them.
The Lahaina News takes pride in congratulating the Lahainaluna Class of 1996.
NAPILI MARKET/Food Pantry
Fresh crisp cucumbers are on sale at 89 cents a pound and so are canteloupes.
Chicken of the Sea Tuna is also on sale. There is a dolphin safe label so
enjoy this product at 79 cents a can.
Hormel chili is $1.29 a can and Ultra Wisk Liquid detergent will get the
stains from that can out of any shirt you might own. Wisk is $3.99 per 50 oz.
Those of you living in Napili who worry about chemical contamination of
water can get the bottled stuff for 89 cents for 1 point 5 litres.
Fresh ground beef is $1.99 a pound and if you are too lazy to cook the raw
stuff, there is a homemade meat loaf entree on sale for $3.99.
Coors beer is $12.99 for a 24.
HARBOR REPORT
"Marlin makes explosive run for Luckey Strike II"
WOW! The reporter sure chose his headline right! A 535 pound marlin was
seen to propel itself directly at the Luckey Strike II, a fishing boat
operating out of Lahaina. The fishers on board were at first amused at the
sight.
When they became aware that the marlin had 13 pounds of dynamite strapped
around its girth, amusement turned to terror. A massive explosion was
reported off Kaanapali that blew out several windows in nearby hotels.
Little was recovered of either fish, human or boat. Witnesses from shore
continue to pick tiny slivers from all exposed parts of their bodies however.
PUKA AND VINCE - This week's cartoon celebrates Vince's intelligence.
PERSONAL NOTE*** In just under three weeks I will be on Maui. At that
point I will be spending much of my time either diving or working on
information regarding sea turtles in the area. Any time left I would like
to use as relaxation because I have to remind myself I am on vacation. As a
result, I will not be summarizing the Lahaina News during my stay. I am
letting you have a vacation too. :-)
LAHAINA NEWS SUMMARY for May 23 - May 30, 1996
----------------------------------------------
by Ursula Keuper-Bennett
LAHAINA NEWS, the Little Paper That Could - Eyes on West Maui This summary
is being filled out IN Canada by a Canadian who subscribes to the Lahaina
News and wishes she was in Hawaii right now.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
FRONT STREET PROJECT TRYING TO SMOOTH OUT PROBLEMS
This article is about the $9.5 million Front Street improvement project
that will take over a year to complete. Most of the work is done late at
night to avoid disrupting daytime and early evening business.
NUMBER ONE QUESTION WILL BE ANSWERED SOON
And what is the Number One Question for number one and number two? You
got it! It is OFFICIAL. Lahaina will receive $500 000 from County for
new public restrooms. There is so much excitement over this story it is
continued on the back of the paper!
SLAUGHTERHOUSE TRAIL WILL BE FIXED
The popular Slaughterhouse Beach has been earmarked for a 150 foot
concrete walkway and a wheel-chair access overlook. What this means is it
will make it easier for tourists to run up from the beach when their cars
are broken into.
QUESTION OF THE WEEK
You GOTTA love this. This week's question is about the Lahaina restroom!
Here it is!
The county has money for a public restroom building in downtown Lahaina.
Where do you think they should put the restrooms?
Five respondents, three males. (Note males have an easier time finding
Number One relief sites because of their anatomy so their responses will
be interesting) The lady says one is needed near Moose's and complains
about the one at the harbour. Apparently a lot of tourists use it and the
facility runs out of toilet paper by 2 pm. (Good to know)
Second respondent, a male, confirms the harbour restrooms are too small
for the job. His last comment is, "We try to get the homeless out of
here, too." I am not sure what this refers to.
Third respondent, a female, confirms need to a bigger facility at the
harbour. She complains there are only two stalls and whoever cleans it
doesn't do a very good job.
The fourth, a male, votes for the harbour as well. The final respondent,
a male wants one right by the library because plenty of people surf there.
(For those not familiar with Lahaina, people don't surf at the library but
off the ocean directly makai of it)
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
One guy is all hyper about traffic problems between Kahana and Kaanapali.
Another blasts a letter that appeared last week re. airport extension.
EDITORIAL is all about the Front Street Improvement. WOW! I never
thought of this. Recall how the Front Street improvement is going on late
at night for sake of businesses? Well the people LIVING and trying to
sleep in the area have had it after 3 weeks of banging and clanging and
backup horns going. The Lahaina News offers some solutions.
HARBOUR REPORT
506 pound Broadbill has been removed from Hawaiian ocean and is pictured
hanging upside down with a sheet of paper on it. Three humans pose
proudly with the fish.
NAPILI MARKET/Food Pantry Centre Page Ad
SPAM/SPAM LITE is on sale this week at $1.79 a can. Bumble Bee tuna is 59
cents a can and that makes it cheaper than a lot of cat food.
Duracell batteries are $2.59 for two and Kodak Film is priced at $3.49 for
a 24 roll.
Armour hot dogs are 89 cents a pack and Van Camp's Pork and Beans are 59
cents. Add Budweiser beer at $6.89 a 12 pack and you're all set.
Broccoli is 99 cents a bunch and you can kill the taste by washing the
stuff down with POG drink at $1.39.
Chicken thighs are $2.99 a pound. Tattooed thighs are a dollar extra a
pound.
WOW! There are about four entire pages devoted to ads for the Ho'omana'o
Challenge. I will do what I do with most ads. Ignore them.
PUKA AND VINCE - Cute cartoon about a tourist complimenting Vince on his
music.
LAHAINA NEWS BACK ONLINE at: http://www.maui.net/~mauiduck
That's it for this week.
--
^ Ursula Keuper-Bennett
0 0 Mississauga, Ontario
/V^\ | | /^V\ VISIT TURTLE TRAX at:
/V Seen any V\ http://www.io.org/~bunrab
/V Green Sea Turtles V\
with white lumps? ---> Please email: howzit@io.org
LAHAINA NEWS SUMMARY for May 2nd to May 9th, 1996 ------------------------------------------------------ by Ursula Keuper-Bennett
LAHAINA NEWS, the Little Paper That Could - Eyes on West Maui This summary is being filled out IN Canada by a Canadian who subscribes to the Lahaina News and wishes she was in Hawaii right now. --------------------------------------------------------------------- FROM: The Earlier Than Usual Department:
ACCUSED MACHETE ATTACKER HAS NEW CHARGES ADDED
If you recall in the last summary, Steven Stow, 40 was facing two charges of attempted murder in two separate machete attacks. New criminal charges have now been added. Stow faces first-degree murder charges and first-degree terroristic threatening.
The new charge of attempted robbery was based on allegations that Stow tried to take a bag from a homeless man in a parking lot attack at the Lahaina Shopping Center. Stow, after his arrest, confessed to both machete attacks.
RESIDENTS URGE EPA TO CURB USE OF INJECTION WELLS.
(Algae blooms, ocean quality are concerns)
This rather lengthy article is about the EPA hearing into the use of injection wells in West Maui. Most of the 11 people who testified asked the EPA to support reclamation of treated effluent.
EPA OFFICIALS QUESTIONED ABOUT WASTEWATER DISPOSAL
A related article also deals with the EPA/injection well hearings. Lots of info and theories as to what is degrading the ocean off West Maui. I will quote the last paragraph. "The rationale behind injection wells is the pollution-control adage 'dilution is the solution to pollution," Fitzgerald said. "The ideal thing would be to re-use," she added.
AMFAC NOW ALLOWING SUNSET PICKNICKERS TO KAHEKILI PARK
If you recall ocean users were upset by Amfac's insistence on closing the park at 6:30 pm. Amfac offered to keep the park open til 30 minutes after sunset. Their concern is safety, primarily because the park is not lighted and they have legitimate concerns about vandalism and liability (the US is, after all, the Land of the Lawsuit)
Amfac is hanging tough on the night diving people though - saying, night diving is not a wise thing to do. Amfac observes that sharks are out feeding at night.
(From what I know most people who have been attacked by sharks have been done in during the early mornings. Attacks on divers are rare in any event... I'd be more worried about human predators skulking on the poorly lit beach.
EDITORIAL Algae clean-up program makes sense
This entire article is about West Maui's algae problem. There is a proposal to clean up the beaches presently stinking of hypnea. It has been observed that the seaweed blight mars enjoyment of swimming and actually contributes nutrients for more growth.
Many letters to the editor this week. Interesting and worrisome one from Randy Draper who mentions that West Maui ocean has been red with silt for the last three weeks!
NAPILI MARKET/Food Pantry
SPAM and SPAM LITE on sale this week at $1.59 a can! No papayas though.
Nice and soft bathroom tissue is 99 cents for 4 rolls or almost a quarter a roll. Doesn't say what ply it is though.
Toothpaste and mouthwash on sale this week and bottled water is too for those who have lost confidence in the drinking wells of West Maui.
Budweiser beer is $7.99 for a 12 pack but there are no grapes to experiment with. The next closest sensation would be to grab and eat a hard barely ripe canteloupe (99 cents a pound) and wash that down with the brew. Convenient that toilet paper is on sale this week.
WOW! A large vat of Jack Daniel's whiskey is $13.99 and refried beans are 89 cents a can.
If you have gotten over the movie Babe, Hormel Virginia Ham is on sale for $4.99 a pound.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- THE TIME OF THE MONTH -- (A dining report that is really just restaurant ads go on for 7 pages only broken up by:
PUKA and VINCE
This cartoon is about mango season and the Law of Gravity.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- HONOKOWAI BEACH PARK SAND PROJECT CURRENTLY UNDER DESIGN
This article is about a beach replenishment project planned for Honokowai Beach Park. Nature appeared to cooperate in that winter surf had scoured and returned about 50% of the sand back to the beach.
Celebration will however, be as temporary as the sand now there.
HARBOR REPORT Silk Purse takes the Spring Wahine Tournament
The Harbor Report is back and this time even includes a picture. Three men and a woman gather around an upside down marlin smiling (the people not the marlin).
Here are a list of boat names that appear in this article. I have added two fabricated names just for fun. See if you can tell the difference.
SILK PURSE AERIAL PEN 80W REEL HOOKER TAILWALKER OTHER WOMAN MO BETTA
BACK PAGE - For the fourth straight week the back page is a colour ad for the
Kahana Ridge development. Lots start at $149 000 (US) and if you want a home on it prices start at $310 000.
I got a feeling this isn't the affordable housing that was talked about in the West Maui Community Plan of August 95.
^ Ursula Keuper-Bennett
0 0 Mississauga, Ontario
/V^\ | | /^V\ Email: howzit@io.org
/V Turtle Trax V\
/V soon 1 yr old V\ http://www.io.org/~bunrab
LAHAINA NEWS SUMMARY for April 25 to May 1st, 1996 ------------------------------------------------------ by Ursula Keuper-Bennett
LAHAINA NEWS, the Little Paper That Could - Eyes on West Maui This summary is being filled out IN Canada by a Canadian who subscribes to the Lahaina News and wishes she was in Hawaii right now. --------------------------------------------------------------------- FROM: The Better Late than Never Department:
WITNESS DESCRIBES MACHETE ATTACK AT BANYAN TREE PARK
Yes folks, this machete attack occurred the week in which the Banyan tree celebrated its 123rd birthday. Steven Stow, 40 has been charged with attempted murder in the machete attack on homeless man, Douglas Parkinson, 45. Stow has also been charged in another count of attempted murder for a similar machete attack that occurred the night before in the parking lot of the Lahaina Center.
Stow is presently being held of $200 000 bail.
CANCER SUFFERERS PLEASED BY STUDY
If you recall last week the Lahaina News reported on the high incidence of breast cancer in Hawaii. Eve Clute, researcher, is presently gathering data regarding high breast cancer rates. Hawaii women have been contacting her and offering assistance in the study trying to determine if there is a link between pesticide use and prevalence of breast cancer.
QUESTION OF THE WEEK
"What would you like to see the Lahaina Police do to combat crime in West Maui?"
Five people surveyed. Three were males. The first, a male, feels West Maui needs more police. The second, also male, said it's all pretty mellow here and he just doesn't see any crime. Of course he was wearing very dark sunglasses...
The third, a lady said, the Lahaina police are doing a pretty good job. She feels the problem is in Kahului and Kihei and that the police are rude over there.
The fourth, a male, (corrections officer) feels the answer is more police. Finally, the fifth respondent, a female, thinks the police need to walk the beat like in the old days (like when the bad guys also walked around) and ride on horses (she commented - "that would be really cool.") Like in the days when the bad guys also restricted themselves to horses.
EDITORIAL This editorial is about the Hawaiian sovereignty movement and
something about July 1st. I haven't a clue what it is about and figure I got enough to think about with OUR sovereighty movement to worry about another one.
HARBOR REPORT (YESSSS! It's back!)
MARLIN OF THE YEAR PUTS UP A FIVE-HOUR BATTLE
This article is about a 675 pound marlin putting up a five hour battle. I will just quote the last paragraph. "Once the fish was secured, everyone tried to haul it over the starboard side with the fin-pole but it wouldn't budge. After struggling with it for half an hour, the marlin finally slid over the stern and into the boat."
NAPILI MARKET/Food Pantry
Remember people, I procrastinated so long on the summary this sale has been over a week ago. But here is what you could have bought the last week of April.
Hormel Chili was 99 cents a can. Kraft Chunk Cheese was $1.29 and Golden Train Spagetti was 69 cents for 16 ounces. Would have made you a decent meal.
Tombstone pizzas were on sale for 3 for $9.99. Tombstone is an unfortunate name for any food product however.
Hawaiian Coral Tuna is 63 cents for a 6 ounce can. Check for the dolphin safe label.
Coors beer is on sale for 2 at $7.00.
Pork butt $1.49 a pound and Beef rump $1.99. Less rude animals parts are more expensive.
PUKA and VINCE - This strip is about convincing people to vote for you through
the use of physical violence.
^ Ursula Keuper-Bennett
0 0 Mississauga, Ontario
/V^\ | | /^V\ Email: howzit@io.org
/V Turtle Trax V\
/V soon 1 yr old V\ http://www.io.org/~bunrab
LAHAINA NEWS SUMMARY for April 18 - April 25, 1996
------------------------------------------------------
by Ursula Keuper-Bennett
LAHAINA NEWS, the Little Paper That Could - Eyes on West Maui
This summary is being filled out IN Canada by a Canadian who subscribes
to the Lahaina News and wishes she was in Hawaii right now.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
FROM THE BETTER LATE THAN NEVER Department
FRONT PAGE - There is a picture of three Lahainaluna student boarders
harvesting taro leaves. In the background, is a sketch of who I assume to be
David Malo. There is an accompanying article.
FARMING TRADITION ALIVE AND WELL - This article is about the agricultural
activities at the Lahainaluna campus. I guess it is spring in Hawaii too
and the flowers are busting out all over and the students do their part to
help keep the plants thriving. The students are responsible for nearly
all the grounds maintenance on the campus. Even growing food and raising
animals are part of their curriculum.
LAHAINALUNA TO CELEBRATE ITS STUDENTS, HISTORY
This article is also about Lahainaluna and how it plans to celebrate their
biggest event of the year, David Malo Day. NOW I see why David Malo is so
big! I quote, "Malo, who moved to Lahaina from the Big Island in 1823, and
23 scholars formed the first class at Lahainaluna Seminary in 1831. That
makes their school the first U.S. educational institute west of the Rocky
Mountains.
LEIALI'I DISPUTE DESTINED FOR SUPREME COURT
There is scuffling going on over some ceded land. The land is slated for
housing but the Office of Hawaiian Affairs, and a group of Hawaiians
quickly filed suit to block the sale of the land. They feel ceded land
should remain in the public trust.
Anyway, we will be hearing about this one for a while.
NAHIENAENA 'MAYORS' GREEN MAUI'S MAYOR
Photo of Mayor Lingle stopping to talk to some students at Nahienaena
Elementary School. The accompanying article explains how Mayor Lingle got
to meet the student mayors of each of the school's "towns".
Cute ending. Lingle asks a student mayor what was in her speech. The kid
said "Follow the Ten Commandments." Lingle responded with "That's great!
I might use that in a speech myself, sometime."
BANYAN TREE TO TURN 123
On April 24th that wonderful Banyan Tree in Lahaina will be 123 years old!
Everyone who has ever driven by, everyone who has been sheltered by its
leaves I am sure will wish it well and hope for another 123 years.
You know, in the early evenings when you are in that part of Lahaina, the
sounds of the sparrows and other birds settling down for the night in that
tree is something to hear.
QUESTION OF THE WEEK - Very encouraging results to this one.
WHAT CAN BE DONE TO IMPROVE THE QUALITY OF MAUI'S WATERS?
Five people, three males, ALL seemed aware there were problems and ALL
were concerned. Here are their comments. One was concerned with silt
runoff and has personally witnessed reef deterioration. Another a surfer
was worried about diesel spills but he admits surfers complain but they
don't follow up with action.
Another feels the greatest problem is runoff. The fourth respondent was
concerned about plastics. He goes out in his boat and scoops them up all
the time. I like this guy! He says, "Educate the tourists on what
plastic bags do to turtles." The last one felt chemical fertilizers from
golf courses and pineapple fields all drain to the ocean and expressed
concern over the seaweed problem.
Very encouraging that 100% of respondents were aware and also informed.
EDITORIAL - Detox Center Needed
The editorial expresses concern for the recent deaths of homeless
residents who overdosed on a combination of heroin and cocaine... and
possibly added liquor to the mix. The Lahaina News calls for a detox
center but also realizes how much that would cost in terms of tax dollars.
Last line:
How long can we keep telling people to go somewhere else?
NIGHT ACCESS AN ISSUE FOR DIVERS
This article is all about Kaanapali North Beach Park and night time access
to it. West Maui divers will know the place better as Old Airport. Old
Airport is an easy access dive spot and very popular for tourists by day.
Dive operators like it because it has the best night diving along West
Maui.
Presently gates are locked at 6:30 pm and the towers are very enthusiastic
in their work. Divers maintain access is access and it should be 24
hours. Amfac says the land belongs to them and they are also concerned
about liability.
NAPILI MARKET/Food Pantry Center Page Ad
First off, I have to make a public service announcement. Seems one person
has become so intrigued by my comments about grapes and beer in
combination he has admitted to becoming increasingly tempted to try it. I
strongly urged him to resist the temptation! I look and see that again,
these two potent combinations have made the center page. I am not sure if
it is socially responsible of me to report them on sale. However...
Red seedless grapes $1.79 a pound Budweiser Beer 2 six-paks for $7.00.
West Maui does NOT yet have a detox center so don't do anything foolish
using these together in one sitting or you WILL be sitting!
Some staples for a decent chili are on sale this week. Ground beef is
$1.99 a pound, Hunt's Stewed Tomatoes are 85 cents a can, Nabisco Shredded
Wheat is $2.79 and Always Pantyliners are $1.09!
Morton Salt is 69 cents for 26 ounces and if you sprinkle some on a bird's
tail it can't up and fly away. If you sprinkle some on slugs they dry up.
If you sprinkle some on cockroaches, they make a beeline and grab
something from your refrigerator to eat it with.
That's about it. Little happening and no Spam or papayas AGAIN this week.
SPORTS - WHAT?! No Harbour Report AGAIN?!) I'll make one up.
The crews of the Happy Howzit and the Reel Guppy were caught by the US
Coast Guard fighting over who got to land an especially impressive catch.
Both boats attempted to ram the other and crew members were hurling
invectives back and forth.
Three US agencies showed up. NOAA, NMFS and the USFWS. NOAA took one
look at the catch the two boats were fighting over and left the scene
claiming it was not their responsibility.
The US Fish and Wildlife Service evaluated the situation and claimed that
since the 6 paddlers and canoe were caught while in the water, it was not
their jurisdiction. That left the National Marine Fisheries Service in a
bind. While they admitted this event occurred in US waters, the six
paddlers were human and therefore did not qualify as either threatened or
endangered under the definition of "take" in the Endangered Species Act.
News tonight at 11:00 with Joe Moore.
CAR CARE - Cute. Here in Canada we expect a CAR CARE article in the
Spring to explain how to spruce up our vehicles for warmer driving. Much
of the article will tell us how to get rid of road salt.
In contrast, this article tells about how to jump a car. I never read
past the first sentence because I am too short no matter WHAT the
suggestions.
PUKA and VINCE - Another cartoon celebrating the bottomless depth of
Puka's ignorance.
LAHAINA CANNERY MALL LEI CONTEST
Prizes for most beautiful, original and unusual. (note spelling of fourth
word before you consider competing please).
That's it for another week.
LAHAINA NEWS SUMMARY for April 11 - April 18, 1996
------------------------------------------------------
by Ursula Keuper-Bennett
LAHAINA NEWS, the Little Paper That Could - Eyes on West Maui
This summary is being filled out IN Canada by a Canadian who subscribes
to the Lahaina News and wishes she was in Hawaii right now.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
NO SUMMARY FOR LAST WEEK
Some of you might be wondering why there is no Lahaina News summary for
last week. Yes, I did receive the paper in the mail but of the 20 pages
a full 13 could be described as either ads or the newsprint version of
info-mercials. I sent the summary to the prophet and we both agreed not
to post it.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The rest of this message pertains to this week's Lahaina News.
FRONT PAGE - There is a photo of what looks like a mugging in the old West
but it really is a re-enactment of a train robbery. Seems the 5 000 000th
passenger boarded the Lahaina, Kaanapali Sugar Cane Train at 2:50 pm on
April 4th.
NCI PROBING HAWAII'S HIGH BREAST CANCER RATES
The National Cancer Institute is trying to determine if there is a link
between pesticide use/geographical features and the high rate of breast
cancer in Hawaii.
In 1940, 1 in 20 women would get breast cancer. The rate is now 1 in 8
with more younger women and even men contracting the disease.
Hawaii has a comparable cancer rate to Long Island which was described as
"very, very, very high"
The rest of the article explains that there is a correlation between
organochlorines in drinking water wells and breast cancer rates.
Here is a table - Maui Breast Cancer Deaths Ranked by District
Kahalui 102/100 000
Waikuku/Maalaea, Puunene 79/100 000
Kihei, Makena 72/100 000
Napili/Lahaina/Olowalu 71/100 000
Makawao 46/100 000
Kula 42/100 000
Paia 17/100 000
Haiku 17/100 000
Hana/Kipahulu/Nahiku/
Kaupo/Keanae 7/100 000
[What I find interesting is the prevalence of tumoured turtles are highest
in Kahalui, Kihei, Honokowai, and I have heard of many tumoured turtles
(but no actual stats) in Maalaea....]
COCAINE, HEROIN FOUND IN RECENT DRUG DEATHS
Last week's Lahaina News had a front page article on the deaths of two
homeless men. The article relates several incidents some involving deaths
since about last November and asks whether the use of dangerous drugs is
on the rise.
This article is lengthy and provides an excellent overview of drug use in
Hawaii. Many of the substance abusers also drink alcohol daily. Alcohol,
it seems is the base of their dependency because they can get it every
day.
The rest of the article goes on to explain what happens when both alcohol
and heroin are used together.
FUNDS SOUGHT FOR CANOE, NEEDY
This article is about the County's new budget which is available for
review at the Lahaina Public Library. $2.4 million of this budget is
appropriated for West Maui. At a recent meeting, there were many
suggestions as to how the money could best be spent.
Suggestions include building a traditional sailing canoe, and building two
canoe houses, helping Light Bringers to help those who presently fall
through the cracks, public restrooms in Lahaina, and renovation of the Old
Lahaina Courthouse.
EPA TO CONDUCT LAHAINA HEARING
Interested in commenting on the County's policy of sending effluent down
injection wells?
The Environmental Protection Agency will be in Lahaina on April 22-23rd.
They will hold an information workshop at the Lahaina Intermediate
cafeteria on April 22nd - 7 to 9 pm. A hearing will be held on the 23rd
from 7 to 9 pm and the public will have the opportunity to comment on the
injection well permit.
Note: I found it interesting that the Lahaina News referred to the West
Maui "sewage treatment plant" and did not use its County given name of
"Reclamation Facility".
QUESTION OF THE WEEK
WHOA! A potentially interesting question! WHAT DO YOU DO FOR FUN?
Five people, three women, all who I assume will be qualified to answer
this one. All cited typical Maui past times like drink beer, bodysurf,
sunbathe, fish, hiking... Interesting, the grade school teacher mentioned
preferences for cultural events IN SAN FRANCISCO, unintentionally implying
there are none on Maui.
The last, a male offered, "Skate, Roller blade, That's all." One can
conclude once he gets too old for these activities, his life will be
totally devoid of fun.
Of interest, NO ONE mentioned sex. I am entirely baffled.
WHALE SANCTUARY PLAN STILL UNDER DESIGN
Plenty of questions and discussion at the first meeting of the Sanctuary
Advisory Committee at the Maui Coast Hotel. The rest of the article
describes federal regulations and implications to boaters sharing the
ocean with whales.
EDITORIAL
Finally, it's back! But the editorial cartoon isn't!
The editor encourages people to help get the Green Party on the ballot in
time for the next election. From his comments, I don't read that he
necessarily supports the Green Party and the last sentence is worth
quoting.
"Judging by all the blank votes in the 1994 elections, residents would
like more (choice).
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
Remember last week's letter lampooning the Pacific Whale Foundation to
keep out of the whales' faces? This week there is a lengthy, powerfully
constructed response by Dr. Paul R. Forestell, Research Director of the
Pacific Whale Foundation.
I can summarize his letter in this way. It seems Earl Eckel Jr.
misinterpreted what he was witnessing but by voicing his concerns, he
should be congratulated for taking such an interest in the welfare of the
whales.
The second letter is from Randy Draper, a West Maui resident very much
concerned about the algae blooms and seaweed problems in the ocean. He
can be reached at 669-7776 if you are interested in helping out.
WHAT??! No Harbor Report AGAIN??!!! Instead there is an article on
Gateball for seniors and an info-mercial on golf.
NAPILI MARKET/Food Pantry Centre Page Ad
No Spam or papayas this week. Ground beef and tomato sauce are both on
sale and so there is the potential for a decent chili.
Broccoli is once again on sale at 99 cents a pound.
RimRock Natural Mountain Water is on sale for 89 cent a 1.5 liter bottle.
Judging by the number of pesticides implicated to be in Maui's drinking
wells, this might be something to consider.
Armour Sliced Bacon is on sale for $1.29 per 12 ounces but if you have
seen the movie, "Babe" you won't be interested.
WHOA!! I have just noticed a devastating combination here so must provide
a medic alert. Van Camp's Pork and Beans are on sale at 2 for a dollar.
Corned Beef Hash is $1.79 as well. Miller Beer is $6.79 for a 12 pack and
Steinlager is $9.99 for 12.
Don't take those in combination and sleep with someone within 24 hours!
The beer should also not be taken in combination with canteloupes (79
cents a pound) or anjou pears (89 cents a pound).
The above has been a public service announcement.
PUKA AND VINCE
A clever cartoon where Puka is learning to twirl the torches for a fire
dance. Last panel is - he's charred and says, "Deez' are alot harder
ta'twirl when dey're lit!!"
LAST PAGE ARTICLE BANNED CHEMICALS FOUND IN MAUI WATER WELLS
Researchers are concerned about DBCP's remarkable lifespan. Some of these
pesticides were used liberally in the 70's and one in particular, DBCP was
banned outright in 1987 yet it is showing up in water wells in the 1990's.
The rest of the article lists drinking water wells where DBCP was
detected. Two water wells in Napili were closed in 1994 because the wells
had reached maximum levels for the chemical.
It would appear Maui is not just fouling its ocean "nest".... I am sure
we will hear about drinking wells and pesticide in the future.
So ends this week's Lahaina News summary... how much did that bottled
water cost again???
LAHAINA NEWS SUMMARY for March 28th - April 4th, 1996
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by Ursula Keuper-Bennett
LAHAINA NEWS, the Little Paper That Could - Eyes on West Maui This summary
is being filled out IN Canada by a Canadian who subscribes to the Lahaina
News and wishes she was in Hawaii right now.
This special Easter Summary typed out early Easter Sunday morning was
delivered by the Easter Bunny along with eggs, chocolate rabbits,
Twinkies, Hershey kisses, caramel candies, chocolate macadamia nut ice
cream with a cherry on top, Turtles and some of those gold coins that when
you open them they are chocolate.
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FRONT PAGE - This week's photo is difficult to describe. In it is
something that looks like a large brick speaker's podium. Around it is a
cast iron fence with pointies at the top to keep people out. The caption
reads, "On March 18, in honor of Princess Nahienaena's birthday, students
at the elementary school that bears her name placed leis on her grave in
Lahaina."
HONOKOHAU VALLEY RESIDENTS WANT BETTER TREATMENT BY WATER DEPT.
Two dozen people are angered by the Department of Water Supply's policy of
not issuing new water meters at Honokohau Valley. They were all set to
voice their concerns to Water Dept director, David Craddick. This March
18th meeting was supposed to take place inside the Honolua United
Methodist Church.
Here is the most interesting part. Apparently there was a
miscommunication with the church's minister and Craddick never got the
key! The meeting was held on the sidewalk. The article does not say
whether that made people even crabbier.
LIGHT INDUSTRIAL PARK ZONING SENT BACK TO COMMITTEE
A 37 acre industrial subdivision mauka of the Lahaina Cannery looked like
it would have no problems getting through to the first and second reading
before Maui Council.
But Wayne Nishiki objected to how quickly council had made decisions about
such a large project. He proved this rather elegantly. He brought a tape
that showed the planning committee took only 48 minutes to discuss the
thing.
Planning Committee chairman Tom Morrow had hoped to avoid a protracted
council meeting but clearly Nishiki scuttled those plans. Nishiki went on
record to say he didn't oppose the project per se. He just wanted to make
sure that it truly is used for light industrial purposes and doesn't
become another shopping area. He also wanted to ensure that drainage
concerns were addressed saying otherwise it would end up in Kahoma Stream
and then the ocean.
EPA TO HOLD HEARING IN LAHAINA
The EPA will hold a public hearing in April for input on a draft permit
"that clears the county to send treated effluent down the injection wells
at its West Maui sewage treatment plant."
The reason I quoted from the Lahaina News is I found it interesting and
significant they did not refer to the Lahaina "Reclamation Center" by its
actual name but rather by what is REALLY does.
The meeting will be held at the Lahaina Intermediate school cafeteria on
April 22nd, from 6:30 to 8:30 pm. Maui County wants to set injection
limits to 6.7 million gallons and add more injection wells.
HAAKE: CITIZEN'S PATROL TO START SOON
Community patrols are set to start at Honolua/Slaughterhouse and Big Beach
in Makena. Car break-ins have left many tourists seeking new destinations
in the future. The first group of volunteers are set to begin patrol some
time in April.
The county hopes to recruit senior citizens who will have the flexibility
of time. The article also says these people must be fit and able to
handle 4 hour shifts in the sun and have good vision.
The patrol will supplement actions police are already taking in high
nuisance/crime/vandalism beaches.
QUESTION OF THE WEEK
"How do you rate the performance of the Maui County Council?"
I LOVE SURVEYS! Let's see... WOW! A true reflection of democracy. OK..
Of the 5 who expressed surveyed, 3 admitted they don't follow issues, one
said she doesn't read the newspaper much but would say "the